“Having so many worshipers means some churches have to turn away people after they run out of wafers but with scam sacrament sellers you never know what you’re actually eating, so don’t risk it,” explained one priest.
“They’ll tell you it’s the body of Christ, but of the counterfeit stuff we’ve seized so far, analyses show the wafers are cut with talcum powder, rat poison, you name it and are actually the bodies of a number of lesser known saints,” explained a spokesperson for the Carabinieri.
UPDATE: 14 people have had to seek treatment in Rome hospitals after consuming wafers marked by an embossed upside down cross, with people experiencing demonic fits. Symptoms include speaking Latin backwards and their heads achieving 360 degree rotations.
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