I think part of the problem is the things Beebo mentioned, but also that women accept/tolerate those behaviors. Case in point - my mother (born 1951) firmly believes that sexual abuse is just part of growing up female. Where did she come by that belief? I don't know. Add into that that, even now, many women believe they NEED a man - and you get women putting up with behaviors that they really shouldn't. If we stopped putting up with those behaviors - for awhile there'd be a lot more single women and a sharp decline in the birth rate - but those behaviors would change.
Nobody really enforced protection of children even in the Sixties, and it’s very imperfect now.
But enough people have changed their minds about child abuse that at least in public, prominent people have to say they’re opposed to it. (I’m very aware that attitude is not as common in private.)
There’s a point where public pressure starts to make a difference.
The 25% Revolution—How Big Does a Minority Have to Be to Reshape Society?
It seems to me the culture war is worth fighting, just from the drastic improvements between the Sixties, which I can remember, and now.
Women do have some power - the falling birthrate, higher divorce rate, and the shelter movement all come, in part, from an unwillingness to put up with abuse. Changes in family law and medical practice come from it, too. So does our willingness to have this conversation.
I don’t think people, including men, are without free will. For one thing, the less extreme kinks can all be indulged with a willing partner if one is willing to make an effort and adhere to an ethic such as BDSM SSC. There must be another percentage of people who have enough empathy to avoid doing harm, even if it requires abstinence from something. The few who really have no self control sometimes get locked up.
The larger problem is a society structured with power imbalances that make it possible for some people to violently exploit others. I don’t think enough people have really written off violence and exploitation. They’ve only narrowed the definitions of who they’re allowed to do it to. The extreme Right in particular seems to be all about getting permission to get to abuse or exploit someone. That’s what the most traditional type of marriage was, in the hands of someone with no empathy.
Society is collectively climbing out of something that looks like mass NPD. A lot of abuse of “inferiors” was sanctioned. When we stop sanctioning it now, we can expect to get yelled at for undermining authority and being politically incorrect.
Unfortunately, so many women are patriarchal that I don’t see this as a pure gender issue. I see it as ethical failure.
Going back to Beebo’s original post, I wouldn’t lump together food abuse with people abuse, unless the point is to advocate for veganism (which I don’t). Eating disorders are often related to trauma, and overeating can be triggered by trying to overcome the hypoglycemia part of the blood sugar imbalance in metabolic disorders. These are medical and psychological issues that need treatment. I don’t think they’re a character problem in the same way as abuse.
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