but do they deserve to deal with him?
So, let me tell you a story about one of the most lovely men I've ever known. He was born out of wedlock, dumped on his father's family by his mom, who'd already one kid by [as near as I can guess, her later husband] because she could only pass off one kid as her older sisters [as near as anyone knows]. He wasn't raised by his dad, and wasn't really raised by any one aunt or uncle. He wasn't abused really [again as near as i can tell], unless you consider neglect abuse.
He had a rotten childhood; yet he not only came out wonderfully [well, he was kinda not the best dad - he couldn't bring himself to punish us 99.9% of the time and stuck my mom with that task].
So, sure, an abusive childhood -can- turn someone into that orange pos, but it doesn't have to - we're still defined by our personal choices, and we never have to be horrid just because of how horrid our upbringing was.