Sid

Sid · Thursday at 6:33 PM

Respect your parents.
They passed school without Google!

Sid · Monday at 6:17 AM

Thank God, I don't have to hunt for food.
I don't even know where tacos live!

Sid · Nov 11, 2018

Old? Me?
No, I'm vintage.

Sid · Nov 10, 2018

Everybody wants to change the world, but nobody wants to change the toilet paper roll.

Sid · Nov 8, 2018

Don't be sad when a bird craps on your head. Be happy that elephants can't fly.

Sid · Nov 7, 2018

Tried watching The Never Ending Story, couldn't finish it.

Sid · Nov 5, 2018

I'm not fat.
I'm just ........
easier to see!

Sid · Nov 4, 2018

I want to be like a caterpillar.
Eat a lot. Sleep a while.
Wake up beautiful.

Sid · Nov 3, 2018

Most people are shocked when they find out how bad I am as an electrician.

Sid · Nov 2, 2018

Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.

Sid · Oct 31, 2018

The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Sid · Oct 30, 2018

Being normal is vastly overrated.

Sid · Oct 28, 2018

I just saved some whine.
It was stuck in a bottle.

Sid · Oct 26, 2018

God must love stupid people.
He made so many.

Sid · Oct 23, 2018

A recent study has found, that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.

Sid · Oct 22, 2018

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie, is all the walking that I'd have to do.

Sid · Oct 21, 2018

I remember when Halloween was the scariest night of the year.
Now, it's Election night.

Sid · Oct 20, 2018

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Sid · Oct 19, 2018

One day you're the best thing since sliced bread.
The next, you're toast.

Sid · Oct 18, 2018

Photons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.

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