You are never to old, to learn something stupid.
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To be old and wise, you first must have been young and stupid.
It seems I'm not old enough yet.
We were born to be real, not to be perfect.
Someone called me lazy today.
I almost responded.
I currently experience life at the speed of 15 WTF's an hour.
All my life I thought that air was free, until I bought a bag of chips.
Celery is 95% water and 100% not pizza.
If idiots could fly, the world would be one big airport.
I finished 3 books today. And believe it or not, that's a lot of coloring.
I don't have a dirty mind, I have a sexy imagination.
I started out with nothing....
I still got most of it.
Two people stole a calendar.
They each got six months.
I just saw an idiot at the gym putting a water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill.
If we are not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge?
When you're happy, you enjoy the music.
When you're sad, you understand the lyrics.
Change is inevitable.
Except from a vending machine.
Light travels faster than sound.
That's why some people appear bright until they speak.
Creativity is intelligence having fun.
Don't steal!
Our governments hate competition.
I won't be impressed by technology until I can download food. -
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