A doctor told me I had 1 year left to live. I killed him and here I am ... in prison. 25 years and counting 
New profile posts
Where does meat in the pokemon world come from?
why do they call them chicken fingers if chickens don't have fingers?
This is a profile post. There are many like it but this one is mine.
If you’re happy and you know it,
clap your trap!
clap your trap!
I hate when my wife gets mad at me for being lazy. It's not like I did anything
Growing up means accepting that sometimes you are the pigeon and sometimes the statue.
I never trust children. They are here to replace us. 
Did you just fall? No, 
I was checking if gravity still works
I was checking if gravity still works
It's amazing how fast they try to assist you when you start the chainsaw in the Home Depot
What have you learnt in this pandemic? me? To hold my cough
My last girlfriend was such a milf that when we'd do it cowgirl style, she used to say "first time I sit in my whole day".
I knew a woman who owned a taser. Man, was she stunning!
I ate a kid’s meal at McDonald’s today. His mom got really angry at me.
And hear the harmony
Only when it's harming me
It's not real, it's not real
It's not real enough
(Mitski - Geyser)
Only when it's harming me
It's not real, it's not real
It's not real enough
(Mitski - Geyser)
The ocean is a desert with it's life underground
And a perfect disguise above
Under the cities lies a heart made of ground
But the humans will give no love
(America - A Horse With No Name)
And a perfect disguise above
Under the cities lies a heart made of ground
But the humans will give no love
(America - A Horse With No Name)