THOSE FABULOUS FURRY FREAK BROTHERS in "FAT FREDDIE'S BIG SCORE"
PHINEAS: (Looking in the sugar bottle) Fifteen dollars remains!
FREEWHEELIN' FRANKLIN: Fat Freddie, take our fifteen dollars and go score us
a lid of grass!...and DON'T get burned this time!
FAT FREDDIE: (Walking across town) Hmmm...I can probably drink a few beers in
this bar and catch the last of the football game...
FAT FREDDIE: (Many beers later) Gee, I've only got seven dollars left! I'd
better go try and score that lid before it's TOO LATE!
LATER...
DOPE DEALER: Speed? Acid? Grass?
FAT FREDDIE: I gotta play my cards right....I could use some GRASS, man, if
it's GOOD STUFF!
FAT FREDDIE: (Grabbing the pot) Give it here! I wanna smell it to determine
its... (hrumph) QUALITY!
FAT FREDDIE: Uh-oh! All that beer must have killed my sense of smell! I'll
just have to take a chance...
FAT FREDDIE: How much you want for this stuff?
DOPE DEALER: That's good PANAMA RED, man! Outa sight dope! Twenty dollars!
FAT FREDDIE: Awwww, man, dope hasn't sold for that much in the last SIX
YEARS!... All I can give you is seven dollars!
DOPE DEALER: Hey dig, man: It's like the border crackdown has caused this
immense DOPE FAMINE and the prices have gone up!
DOPE DEALER: Not only that, man, but my house just got broken into and me and
my old lady got ripped off for everything but this one little stash!
DOPE DEALER: But dig, man, I'll sell it to you for SEVEN BUCKS, 'cause I need
the bread!
FAT FREDDIE: (Returning home) He seemed like a nice guy.... little fucked up,
though.
FREEWHEELIN' FRANKLIN: ARRRGH! You spent our last fifteen dollars on PARSLEY!
FREEWHEELIN' FRANKLIN: (Stomping Fat Freddie's face into the floor) EAT IT!
EAT EVERY BIT OF IT or I'LL KILL YOU!
PHINEAS: (Snigger) I'll bet neither of you guys know that parsley,
administered orally in large amounts, is a POWERFUL APHRODISIAC!
THE NEXT DAY...
FREEWHEELIN' FRANKLIN: Hey Phineas, look at this headline in the morning
paper..."MAD RAPIST TERRORIZES CITY."..
PHINEAS: !
THE END.