WTF Sh*t's F*cked Up and Bullsh*t - a "Who Cares" thread for news

[Argent Stonecutter]

A store that sells heaters ALWAYS stocks heaters, all year long.

Not in Houston.

 

[Myficals]

Australian man screaming at spider 'why don't you die?' triggers full police response

The actual police communication is kind of hilarious:

 

[Katheryne Helendale]

File this under "be careful what you ask for":

Chipotle may have outsmarted itself by blocking thousands of employee lawsuits over wage theft | LA Times

 

[Free]

Chipotle may have outsmarted itself by blocking thousands of employee lawsuits over wage theft | LA Times

Now Chipotle is squealing for mercy.

Such a bad girl needs more spankings...

 

[Brian]

When you thought you already knew how horrible people can be.
I believe they could have left out the word possible here.

Phoenix police are investigating possible sex abuse at a nursing facility after a female patient recently became pregnant and gave birth.

Sources tell Arizona's Family that the alleged victim has been a patient at the Hacienda HealthCare facility, which is near 16th Street and South Mountain Avenue, for at least a decade after a near-drowning incident left her in a vegetative state. That woman gave birth to a baby boy on Dec. 29.

https://www.azfamily.com/news/woman-in-vegetative-state-gives-birth-at-hacienda-healthcare-in/article_9342c7c4-0fb2-11e9-8138-4fcd53869faf.html

 

[Kaimi Kyomoon]

Such a bad girl needs more spankings power...

fify

 

[Pamela]

Inspiring! This whole twitter feed shows how people, mainly women, are breaking the law by dancing and taking off their hijabs.

 

[Dakota Tebaldi]

Arkansas sheriff's deputy caught on video shooting a chihuahua for barking at him:


Since the video came to public attention, the Faulkner County sheriff's office has fired the deputy.

 

[Innula Zenovka]

The Complete List of 140 Things You Can’t Say About Assange or WikiLeaks – Emma Best


ETA: I see there's a thread about this, too: LOL! Julian Assange makes a list of what he doesn't want said about him

 

[Free]

I suddenly want a children's story about a boy named Julian who lives under the stairs.

 

[Argent Stonecutter]

I suddenly want a children's story about a boy named Julian who lives under the stairs.

I don't see one on fanfiction.net yet, so go for it. You might start a new trend.

 

[Govi]

There's always Billy Goats Gruff (and the Troll that lived under the bridge, which seems more appropriate to a Julian who lived in an embassy broom closet with his computer).

 

[Innula Zenovka]

Christ almighty! Heathrow airport departures suspended after drone sighting

 

[Katheryne Helendale]

There are all kinds of people out there:

Prowler spent three hours licking doorbell at California home

 

[Rose Karuna]

There are all kinds of people out there:

Prowler spent three hours licking doorbell at California home

I woke up one morning around 4:30 AM to hear one of my cats growling angrily at the front door. I looked out the window and there was some young fella in a half state of dress (shirt, shoes, and belt were off) and he was making Harry Potter magic hand signs at the water fountain on my front porch. I opened the door and asked if I could help him and one look at his face told me he was higher than a kite. He told me shhhhsh that the water fountain was speaking to him.

So I figured that he was harmless, closed the front door and went back to bed. When I got up a couple of hours later, his clothes were still on the front porch (now including his pants) but he was no where to be found. He had to have just walked away wearing only his boxers and he never came back for his clothes. I folded them and put them next to the door bell for more than a week just in case.

Sometimes I wonder what kind of drugs these kids are taking. And where I can get some.

 

[Kamilah Hauptmann]

I woke up one morning around 4:30 AM to hear one of my cats growling angrily at the front door. I looked out the window and there was some young fella in a half state of dress (shirt, shoes, and belt were off) and he was making Harry Potter magic hand signs at the water fountain on my front porch. I opened the door and asked if I could help him and one look at his face told me he was higher than a kite. He told me shhhhsh that the water fountain was speaking to him.

So I figured that he was harmless, closed the front door and went back to bed. When I got up a couple of hours later, his clothes were still on the front porch (now including his pants) but he was no where to be found. He had to have just walked away wearing only his boxers and he never came back for his clothes. I folded them and put them next to the door bell for more than a week just in case.

Sometimes I wonder what kind of drugs these kids are taking. And where I can get some.

This is the most Canadian thing to ever happen in Florida.

 

[Dakota Tebaldi]

A sad but touching story of unrequited love

Jacqueline Ades sent a man she met on a dating site more than 159,000 text messages — some of which were threatening — over the course of nearly 10 months, according to police documents obtained via a public records request.

Police say Ades began threatening the man after Paradise Valley officers escorted her off his property in July 2017. One text read: "I'd wear ur fascia n the top of ur skull n ur hands n feet," referring to the connective tissue that encloses muscles and organs.

And another said: "I'd make sushi outta ur kidneys n chopsticks outta ur hand bones."

Arrest records completed by officers listed Ades as showing signs of mental illness.

Ades, who is being held in a Maricopa County jail without bond, has pleaded not guilty to charges of stalking and criminal trespassing. Her trial is scheduled to begin next month.

During a televised jailhouse interview in May, Ades said she met the man on Luxy, an online dating service that caters to millionaires.

Police reports say Ades and the man communicated through the site for a few days before going on a single date. The records don't specify when the date occurred.

The man told police that Ades continued to text him after the date, despite telling her he didn't want to see or hear from her again. He later called the police when he found Ades parked outside his house in July 2017.

Police say Ades' texts to the man became threatening shortly thereafter.

Court documents say Ades' alleged victim was out of the country when he called police in April 2018 to report that surveillance video showed her inside his home.

Paradise Valley police officers found Ades at the house, taking a bath. Blurred body-camera footage shows officers handcuffing and arresting Ades after locating some of her discarded clothes. As she was arrested, Ades says, "Why is this happening to me?"

When an officer asked what she was doing there, Ades gave an answer that only raised more questions.

"I guess that I made up a whole scenario in my head where I live here, so I came here and pretended that's what was happening," Ades told the officer.

When the officer asked her to clarify what she meant, Ades began referencing scientific equations.

Officers found a large butcher knife on the front passenger seat in Ades' car when she gave them permission to retrieve her purse. The police report notes that officers didn't ask Ades about the knife, saying her answers to previous questions "did not make sense."

Ades was later charged with first-degree criminal trespassing of a residential structure — a class 6 felony.

She was later released, but failed to appear in court on multiple occasions, court records show.

Paradise Valley officers arrested Ades at her Phoenix apartment complex on May 8 after she failed to appear to multiple court hearings. The officers had also learned from Scottsdale officers that, in the interim, Ades had visited the man's workplace and claimed to be his wife.

During the drive to the Paradise Valley jail, Ades can be heard repeating a "story of love" involving Albert Einstein's theory of relativity. Body-camera footage also showed her discussing different conspiracies that involved, among other things, the Eye of Providence and a small village in Israel called Neve Zohar.

When the officer asked Ades where she learned all these things, Ades said she got it from the man who kept rejecting her.

"He said to me, 'Go away,' for the last 16 months," Ades said. "And I couldn't, because the more I loved him, the more I learned (about) the secrets of the universe."

When police asked her about the threats, Ades said she would only have harmed the man if they were ever in a relationship and he ever left her, but then said it was fine if he didn't want to be with her.

"It's OK if that's how (he) feels," Ades said. "Somebody else should love him. He has so much to love. He's so cute. I can't believe I scared him."

 

[Innula Zenovka]

wikiFeet: how online foot fetishists debunked Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’s fake nude

 

[Essence Lumin]

wikiFeet: how online foot fetishists debunked Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’s fake nude

The article says the big crime, if it had been a real picture, would have been "so much worse than that – the image clearly shows a bottle of pumpkin-scented shampoo on the side of the bath. That’s a fetish too sick for even the ugliest corners of the internet."

 

[Katheryne Helendale]

National park visitors cut down protected Joshua trees during partial government shutdown | CNN

You know, I knew Trump supporters wanted to tear the whole world down; I just didn't think they'd be so literal about it.