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Joe is channeling Dan Rather's shade throwing mutant super power.

This is a beautiful sight.

I've cursed half of the United States with terminal searing hot explosive diarrhea with bullet ants and executioner wasps.

The politician Doug Jones needs to wear monster costumes, because I keep confusing him with the actor Doug Jones (who was the fish dude in Shape of Water, among other beasties in the movies). I always have to double check who people are talking about on Twitter.

So there was a giant fucking quake in the Aegean Sea, and people died in Turkey and Greece. So yeah, 2020 is the gift that keeps on giving.

Here in this little 'burb, the mayor is essentially running unopposed. I mean there's this dude who is on record as getting into fights with bicyclists, and using all kinds of nasty slurs against people who piss him off, and he wants open-carry here. There was no way I was gonna vote for him...

Trump retweets this in 3...2...1...

Hell. I'm on Plavix and aspirin and my hands look nothing like this. The human skin he stole when he arrived on this planet is finally rotting away to show the true reptilian skin beneath.

If you believe my 1:1 kid, it could be around 3 years. Here's his reasoning: He earned a minion video for doing his work. The minion video is the banana song trailer from 2013. When the speech pathologist asked him how many years ago that was, he said, "2,013 years." So extrapolating from...

While poking around The Silph Road Reddit reading about goings on for Pokemon Go (yes, people still play it), I ran across a mask rage thread. A mask rage thread. In Pokemon Go's Reddit. Why the mask rage? It turns out that you can get a mask for your avatar in the game. It's a cute idea. My...

Because a picture is worth 1000 words, and Twitter has a character limit.