The Tesla Goofs Thread

[Soen Eber]

These are not the robotaxi names you're looking for.

Tesla's 'Robotaxi' and 'Cybercab' trademarks hit roadblocks ahead of June launch | TechCrunch

Tesla's attempt to trademark the term "Robotaxi" in reference to its vehicles has been refused by the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office for being too

techcrunch.com

They couldn't use their original planned concept, because it was already in copyright

 

[Free]

Eloncab is extremely available.

 

[Govi]

MuskyCab? MusKab? FasciCab? FuehrerMobil? PantserKab? KrabKab? KiesterSlab? "Hi, I'm from DOGE and I'm here to help" Cab? "Hi, I want your taxi fares. Now. Gimme!" Cab?

 

[Casey Pelous]

Abacab!


(I had not realized Genesis were 17 years old when they did this ....)

 

[CronoCloud Creeggan]

Knowing Musk, probably something like CabX.

 

[Free]

taXi.

 

[Jopsy Pendragon]

Depocab- Free rides into the city for white South Afrikaners. One-way service to the nearest military airbase for anyone with dark skin and tattoos. Women will be taken to the nearest auction house. Don't ask where the children vanish to.

 

[Free]

 

[Free]

Promises, promises
You knew you'd never keep

Tesla was forced to reimburse Full Self-Driving in arbitration after failing to deliver

Tesla has been forced to reimburse a customer’s Full Self-Driving package after an arbitrator determined that the automaker failed to...

electrek.co

Tesla has been forced to reimburse a customer’s Full Self-Driving package after an arbitrator determined that the automaker failed to deliver it.

Tesla has been promising its car owners that every vehicle it has built since 2016 has all the hardware capable of unsupervised self-driving.

The automaker has been selling a “Full Self-Driving” (FSD) package that is supposed to deliver this unsupervised self-driving capability through over-the-air software updates.

Almost a decade later, Tesla has yet to deliver on its promise, and its claim that the cars’ hardware is capable of self-driving has been proven wrong. Tesla had to update all cars with HW2 and 2.5 computers to HW3 computers.

In January 2025, CEO Elon Musk finally admitted that HW3 also won’t be able to support self-driving and said that Tesla will have to upgrade the computers. 6 months later, Tesla has yet to communicate a plan for retrofits to owners.

 

[Casey Pelous]

Promises, promises
You knew you'd never keep

Tesla was forced to reimburse Full Self-Driving in arbitration after failing to deliver

Tesla has been forced to reimburse a customer’s Full Self-Driving package after an arbitrator determined that the automaker failed to...

electrek.co

Not that I'm unhappy to see Musk lose, but I also feel a little like when Trump voters "want their vote back." Folks -- you bought a promise from a guy who is literally world famous for overpromising and under-delivering.

Frog, meet scorpion .............

 

[Beebo Brink]

Not that I'm unhappy to see Musk lose, but I also feel a little like when Trump voters "want their vote back." Folks -- you bought a promise from a guy who is literally world famous for overpromising and under-delivering.

Fortunately for most politicians, they don't enter into a legal contract with voters. Musk, on the other hand....

 

[Free]

Tesla Recalls Thousands More Cybertrucks, Is Bad at Gluing Things

Again with the glue?

gizmodo.com

Tesla is an impressive company by many metrics but one place where it has noticeably struggled is glue. Specifically the glue the EV company has been using to stitch together its beleaguered monstrosity the Cybertruck. Earlier this year, Wired reported that nearly all of the Cybertrucks on the market had been recalled because Tesla used the “wrong glue” to attach the stainless steel panels the car is known for. As a result, the panels were at risk of falling off mid-ride.

Now, the company appears to have yet another adhesive-related problem on its hands. A regulatory filing made by Tesla this week shows the company is recalling another 6,197 Cybertrucks because yet another piece of its overpriced car is at risk of falling off onto the road. “On affected vehicles, the service-installed optional off-road light bar accessory may have been inadvertently attached to the windshield using the incorrect surface primer,” the filing states. The filing was originally reported by Business Insider.

Getting things to stick together is hard.

 

[Casey Pelous]

Tesla Recalls Thousands More Cybertrucks, Is Bad at Gluing Things

Again with the glue?

gizmodo.com

Getting things to stick together is hard.

Corollary: Gluing cars together is dumb.

 

[Free]

I tend not to post on the flood of "my Tesla tried to/did kill me" lawsuits, but this one has some effective video. And as it's about the Cybertruck attempting homicide, so how could I resist.

Tesla Cybertruck crashed after Autopilot was engaged, suit alleges

A Tesla Cybertruck with Autopilot engaged attempted to drive off an overpass, a lawsuit in Harris County alleges.

www.statesman.com

 

[Free]

Even just sitting waiting for a train to pass can be a life or death moment in these cars.