The Sex Recession

Sep 23, 2018
81
#41
I'm sorry, but WTF do you guys think is supposed to be taught in sex education? When I was a kid we basically had a section on how one goes about making a baby as a part of health class and then again in biology a couple of years later. No discussion of social interaction or birth control (Catholic school), and we still managed to figure it out and form relationships.

I think part of the problem is the expectation that you're supposed to have accomplished X, Y, and Z before forming serious relationships. Like the woman in the article who's in grad school and has never had a serious relationship because he parents convinced her that she should be focused only on school and nothing else. I know LOTS of people who finished college and then went on to earn advanced degrees while married. But, maybe that was part of the upside of growing up in a religious environment where you were supposed to be married to get to do the wild thing - instead of thinking you wanted or had to do all these things before settling down - you found a partner to go and do all of those things with you.
 

Free

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#42
I'm sorry, but WTF do you guys think is supposed to be taught in sex education?
Something not wholly dictated (pun intended) by religious and social conservatism would be a start.
 
Sep 23, 2018
81
#43
Something not wholly dictated (pun intended) by religious and social conservatism would be a start.
Such as? and for the record I'm pro-sex ed. Working at the shelter, I ran across entirely too many adults who honestly did not understand how babies got made. OR if they got the general idea that babies come from old fashioned fucking they also thought goofy things like you can't get pregnant the first time, you can't get pregnant standing up, baggies make good condoms, etc. I warmed Hubman if we really do get to adopt this baby and it's a girl, I will put her on the pill as soon as her period starts. I will tell her, I am not giving her permission to do it, I don't want her to do it, she should at the very least be out of high school before doing it - BUT, sometimes things go farther than you mean them to, good kids make mistakes, and with very little exception it is the girl who bears the brunt of the consequences.
 

Imnotgoing Sideways

Puts the FU in Cute
Sep 22, 2018
41
Morbidette
#45
One thing I've learned from living in West Virginia for 18 years is that no one is too ugly to find a sexual partner. Body hygiene, sobriety, teeth -- all optional.
In California, appearance is everything. Look good or cease to exist.
 
Sep 20, 2018
139
#46
One thing I've learned from living in West Virginia for 18 years is that no one is too ugly to find a sexual partner. Body hygiene, sobriety, teeth -- all optional.
As much as we make fun of people like that, there is something to be said for a simple life.

From my subjective experience, it seems to be highly educated, city slickers who have the most trouble. Haughty young people take a lot of pride in expressing their narcissism with impossibly "high standards" and a trasfinite number of "deal breakers."

A Korean friend of mine was telling me about how bad this is in Korea, but also much of Asia. Many professional women basically educated themselves out of the market since there is so much social pressure to not date below your "status."

I don't have the answer, but hope this gets better.
 

Katheryne Helendale

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Sep 20, 2018
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#48
In California, appearance is everything. Look good or cease to exist.
Some parts of California - some people - maybe. But most of us aren't that shallow. A person of good character is often sought out over someone with good looks, especially if good looks is all the person has.
 
Sep 21, 2018
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#49
Such as? and for the record I'm pro-sex ed. Working at the shelter, I ran across entirely too many adults who honestly did not understand how babies got made. OR if they got the general idea that babies come from old fashioned fucking they also thought goofy things like you can't get pregnant the first time, you can't get pregnant standing up, baggies make good condoms, etc. I warmed Hubman if we really do get to adopt this baby and it's a girl, I will put her on the pill as soon as her period starts. I will tell her, I am not giving her permission to do it, I don't want her to do it, she should at the very least be out of high school before doing it - BUT, sometimes things go farther than you mean them to, good kids make mistakes, and with very little exception it is the girl who bears the brunt of the consequences.
I don’t think this is a good idea. When young, non pregnant women get deep venous thrombosis or pulmonary embolism it’s almost always because of the pill. This still happens on the new pill and it can be disabling or even life threatening.

The best protection against unwanted pregnancy is a strong, self-protective personality and parents and friends who will back that up. Most very early pregnancies are related to abuse and coercion.

The conservatives want submissive women, but they also want girls to be able to enforce their “no.” It’s completely contradictory and unrealistic.

A better gambit for emergencies is the morning after pill, provided it isn’t banned completely.
 
Sep 23, 2018
81
#50
As much as we make fun of people like that, there is something to be said for a simple life.

From my subjective experience, it seems to be highly educated, city slickers who have the most trouble. Haughty young people take a lot of pride in expressing their narcissism with impossibly "high standards" and a trasfinite number of "deal breakers."

A Korean friend of mine was telling me about how bad this is in Korea, but also much of Asia. Many professional women basically educated themselves out of the market since there is so much social pressure to not date below your "status."

I don't have the answer, but hope this gets better.
Here's the thing - It took until I was 40 to find a man I actually wanted to put up with on a permanent basis. Although I'm sad that I'm not able to have babies the old fashioned way, I do not regret not lowering my standards and waiting for the right one to come along. And during the many years I was dating - I would date guys who had less education with me as long as he was intelligent - it was always the guy who had a problem with the fact that I was more educated than they were. After awhile they'd start saying things like, "Oh aren't you so literate? Aren't you so smart?" as if those were bad things.

Is there a reason we're wanting this trend to get better? Isn't this the same group that occasionally goes on rants about how there are too many people on the planet? Less sex = less babies = population reduction.
 
Sep 21, 2018
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#51
Less sex isn’t bad in itself. Less opportunity to form friendship and family is objectively bad, but it’s not clear to me that’s as much of a problem as some people think.

Outside of conservative religious communities, it’s been normal to start families later for a couple of decades now.

This is another place where conservatives unrealistically want it both ways. They want young people to start families early, but encourage economic conditions that make it really hard for young people to have stable housing and medical care. I think this is because a lot of the base don’t understand how much employment has changed and how unusual it’s become for young people (or anyone) to have stable jobs with benefits with one employer for a long time.

American society is harsh to parents who are young and poor and judgmental to young people who wait. It’s stupid.
 

Beebo Brink

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Sep 20, 2018
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#53
As much as we make fun of people like that....
People "like that" live all around me, literally, on my block and the entire neighborhood. Men who don't bathe, women who have lost teeth because they are meth addicts, and alcoholics that hole up in their houses, which are falling apart. And my point still holds: people find partners.
 

Imnotgoing Sideways

Puts the FU in Cute
Sep 22, 2018
41
Morbidette
#54
Some parts of California - some people - maybe. But most of us aren't that shallow. A person of good character is often sought out over someone with good looks, especially if good looks is all the person has.
I'm guessing far-far away from the San Francisco, LA regions. Far enough that it could be mistaken for Nevada.
 

Kalel

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#55
I'm guessing far-far away from the San Francisco, LA regions. Far enough that it could be mistaken for Nevada.
similar to south Florida, unless you have money or the body of a god... everyone is so brainwashed wanting that miami lifestyle. some might settle for the first thing that comes their way and end up broken years later. some people even make money jsut going in and out of relationships... you'll see some odd combos out there.
 

Innula Zenovka

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#56
Some parts of California - some people - maybe. But most of us aren't that shallow. A person of good character is often sought out over someone with good looks, especially if good looks is all the person has.
An English accent used to work pretty well, too, at least when I lived there.
 
Sep 19, 2018
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#57
It's because their are so many swimming pools than there used to be. It causes shrinkage.
 
Sep 19, 2018
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#58
Soy? I never heard of that one. If someone spreads it all over their body I would find that repulsive especially due to the high salt content which I can't tolerate.
 
Sep 23, 2018
81
#59
Less sex isn’t bad in itself. Less opportunity to form friendship and family is objectively bad, but it’s not clear to me that’s as much of a problem as some people think.

Outside of conservative religious communities, it’s been normal to start families later for a couple of decades now.

This is another place where conservatives unrealistically want it both ways. They want young people to start families early, but encourage economic conditions that make it really hard for young people to have stable housing and medical care. I think this is because a lot of the base don’t understand how much employment has changed and how unusual it’s become for young people (or anyone) to have stable jobs with benefits with one employer for a long time.

American society is harsh to parents who are young and poor and judgmental to young people who wait. It’s stupid.
I went to a Christian college and a good number of my class mates got married in our very early twenties (a few were still in their teens), but then waited until they were in their 30's to have kids. I think the idea that it's easier to go through those rough unstable times of young adulthood - if you've got someone to go through it with. And, yes, most (but not all of) the couples who got married when we were young are still together.
 

Nika Talaj

What? Maybe.
Sep 22, 2018
44
#60
Are we making this too complex? The sort of day-in, day-out grinding anxiety that modern societies are prone to - that they make sitcoms about - that social networks stoke - that people take record numbers of pills to alleviate - kills peoples' sex drives dead.

There's also this.
Less sex = less babies = population reduction.
If we're all feeling crowded in our apartments, on our freeways, while watching TV ... mother nature will act to cut down the crowding by damping the impulse to make babies. I live in a pretty roomy home and don't commute anymore - nevertheless, if I watch or listen to the news, suddenly I've invited the whole world into my home and it feels very crowded.