Yay! May you live in interesting times

[Casey Pelous]

May that off brand broth turn out to be no salt added.

I can show you how to fix that using SIMPLE HOUSEHOLD INGREDIENTS! Get my free course for just $39.95!

 

[Kamilah Hauptmann]

I can show you how to fix that using SIMPLE HOUSEHOLD INGREDIENTS! Get my free course for just $39.95!

 

[Kamilah Hauptmann]

May your free gift bag of M&Ms be individually wrapped.

 

[Kamilah Hauptmann]

May you forget you took that inulin gummie and take another.

 

[Kamilah Hauptmann]

May your smoke detector start an insistent low battery chirp at 4:00.

 

[Casey Pelous]

May your smoke detector start an insistent low battery chirp at 4:00.

Scene: My house. It is 4:00 AM.

Casey: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....
Detector: CHIRP!!!
Casey: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.....
ENTER: THE CATS, DOUG AND DINSDALE, AT MACH 2.5...
Cats: There was a noise!!
Casey: mmmrrrmffff?
Cats: A noise! There was a...
Detector: CHIRP!!!
Cats: There it is again! A noise!!!
Doug: It's a bird!!
Dinsdale: OMG!!! *panic intensifies*
Casey: It's just the smoke alarm. Go back to sleep.
Detector: CHIRP!!!
Cats: There was a noise!!!!
Etc......

Mind you, these guys would sleep through the Hell's Angels ransacking and demolishing the house....

 

[Kamilah Hauptmann]

May you be uncertain you mush fart, shit, or if it's just fucking with you.

 

[Kamilah Hauptmann]

May laxatives perform randomly for you.

 

[Soen Eber]

May you be uncertain you mush fart, shit, or if it's just fucking with you.

Me, 24 hours ago

 

[Kamilah Hauptmann]

May you fumble your glasses into the toilet.

 

[Kamilah Hauptmann]

May you sneeze while trying to piss.

 

[Free]

May you get popcorn in your teeth you can feel with your tongue but can't remove with your fingers or toothpicks.

 

[Kamilah Hauptmann]

May you spill ice cold soda on your only clean pair of socks.

 

[Free]

Now I'm worried I'll spill hot soda on my only clean pair of socks...

 

[Kamilah Hauptmann]

May you spill grape soda on your last white shirt.

 

[GoblinCampFollower]

May you spill grape soda on your last white shirt.

This mostly makes me think of a classic dilemma as a kid. That is, when you spill something on your pants then have to INSIST to other kids you didn't just pee your pants. I remember a few such incidents, haha.

 

[Noodles]

This mostly makes me think of a classic dilemma as a kid. That is, when you spill something on your pants then have to INSIST to other kids you didn't just pee your pants. I remember a few such incidents, haha.

The secret to getting away with peeing your pants is to also regularly and dramatically, spill juice on yourself, at other times.