Yay! May you live in interesting times

[Casey Pelous]

May that off brand broth turn out to be no salt added.

I can show you how to fix that using SIMPLE HOUSEHOLD INGREDIENTS! Get my free course for just $39.95!

 

[Kamilah Hauptmann]

I can show you how to fix that using SIMPLE HOUSEHOLD INGREDIENTS! Get my free course for just $39.95!

 

[Kamilah Hauptmann]

May your free gift bag of M&Ms be individually wrapped.

 

[Kamilah Hauptmann]

May you forget you took that inulin gummie and take another.

 

[Kamilah Hauptmann]

May your smoke detector start an insistent low battery chirp at 4:00.

 

[Casey Pelous]

May your smoke detector start an insistent low battery chirp at 4:00.

Scene: My house. It is 4:00 AM.

Casey: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....
Detector: CHIRP!!!
Casey: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.....
ENTER: THE CATS, DOUG AND DINSDALE, AT MACH 2.5...
Cats: There was a noise!!
Casey: mmmrrrmffff?
Cats: A noise! There was a...
Detector: CHIRP!!!
Cats: There it is again! A noise!!!
Doug: It's a bird!!
Dinsdale: OMG!!! *panic intensifies*
Casey: It's just the smoke alarm. Go back to sleep.
Detector: CHIRP!!!
Cats: There was a noise!!!!
Etc......

Mind you, these guys would sleep through the Hell's Angels ransacking and demolishing the house....

 

[Kamilah Hauptmann]

May you be uncertain you mush fart, shit, or if it's just fucking with you.

 

[Kamilah Hauptmann]

May laxatives perform randomly for you.

 

[Soen Eber]

May you be uncertain you mush fart, shit, or if it's just fucking with you.

Me, 24 hours ago

 

[Kamilah Hauptmann]

May you fumble your glasses into the toilet.

 

[Kamilah Hauptmann]

May you sneeze while trying to piss.