LOL! Political ZOMGWTF

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When the comedy comes from inside the house.

 

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Trump Taps George Santos to Head Bureau Of Labor Statistics

Beltway insiders are calling it one of the most stunning political comebacks in American history.

www.borowitzreport.com

In one of the most stunning political comebacks in American history, on Monday Donald J. Trump picked the disgraced former congressman George Santos to lead the Department of Labor Statistics.

"This is such an honor," Santos told reporters. "I really didn't think I'd get pardoned before Ghislaine."

The new DLS chief hit the ground running, revising upward the job figures from every month of Trump’s presidency.

“The American economy added a million new jobs in May and a billion new jobs in June,” Santos declared. “President Trump is creating jobs like crazy—he even gave one to Pete Hegseth.”

 

[Khamon]

They can move the offices to his minimum security country clu penal facility.

 

[Veritable Quandry]

I expect his golf caddy will get the job.

 

[Khamon]

He’s fresh out of former news hosts. Perhaps popular DJs are the next available list. Or he could threaten massive tariffs for kingdoms who refuse to send their royalty here in public service roles.

stop to give it ideas in pocketses khamon kthx

 

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He puts on makeup down there, too?

 

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[CronoCloud Creeggan]

About fucking time, South Park. Parker and Stone and their edgelord-ism are a part of why we're in this mess.

 

[Jopsy Pendragon]

 

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[Isabeau]

They could use his image next to the word knob in the dictionary.

 

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John Oliver Slams Dean Cain for Joining ICE, Says ‘No Need’ for Former Superman to ‘Wear a Mask’ on Duty: ‘The Chances of Anyone Recognizing Him Are F—ing Zero’

John Oliver slammed former Superman Dean Cain over his announcement last week that he plans to join ICE, saying it shows the agency is "f---ed."

variety.com

“I’m not saying that ICE isn’t finding people,” he continued. “I’m just saying, when you are reduced to pinning a badge on the 59-year-old star of ‘The Dog Who Saved Christmas,’ ‘The Dog Who Saved Christmas Vacation,’ ‘The Dog Who Saved Holidays,’ ‘The Dog Who Saved Halloween,’ ‘The Dog Who Saved Easter’ and ‘The Dog Who Saved Summer,’ maybe you are in trouble.”

 

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Isaiah Martin (@isaiahrmartin.bsky.social)

So Texas Republicans have now set up a TIP LINE to rat out the Texas Democrats So PLEASE, for the sake of the public, DO NOT FLOOD THIS NUMBER with tips on Bigfoot sightings, UFO sightings, or asking why Trump is on “the list” 1-866-786-5972 Thank you!

bsky.app

 

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[Soen Eber]

Seriously, just name the airport, he will have to go through it. There's probably someone named Epstein who's commendable enough to get that honor.