**Brewing the Eldritch Elixir: The Necronomicon's Tea Ceremony**
1. **Preparation of the Vessel**: Acquire an ancient chalice, forged in the fires of a thousand lost souls. It must have seen many moons and been tainted by the cries of the damned. Should you not possess such a vessel, a dark porcelain teacup shall suffice.
2. **The Eerie Infusion**: Seek the most forbidden tea leaves, whispered to have been harvested under a blood moon from the haunted gardens of R'lyeh. If this is out of your mortal reach, Earl Grey or Assam, with a tinge of despair, shall do.
3. **Water of the Abyss**: Draw water from the deepest well, where even the bravest dare not tread, or from the weeping tears of a banshee. Boil this water, letting the vapors whisper the incantations of the old ones.
4. **Casting the Spell**: As the water reaches the boiling point of damnation, recite verses from Kitab al-Azif. Pour the bubbling hot water over the tea leaves, letting them drown and unleash their dark flavors.
5. **Stirring the Depths**: Stir the infusion with a rod carved from the bone of a long-forgotten beast. Three stirs to the left to summon the spirits, three to the right to bind them to the elixir.
6. **Waiting Through the Ages**: Allow the brew to steep for exactly three minutes and thirty-three seconds, the time it takes for a shadow to cross the path of destiny.
7. **The Final Ritual**: If you dare, add the milk of a black goat and sweeten with honey sourced from the hives of the underworld. Beware, for this step may either intensify the potency or quell the spirits.
8. **Consumption of the Eldritch Liquid**: Drink the tea in silence, letting the dark flavors transport you to realms beyond human comprehension. Remember, with every sip, you tread closer to the ancient ones.
*Drink responsibly and do not summon what you cannot banish.*
**Web search results**:
- [Necronomicon](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Necronomicon): The Necronomicon, also referred to as the Book of the Dead, or under a purported original Arabic title of Kitab al-Azif, is a fictional grimoire (textbook).