Individual = dumb? A rant about conformity pressure

[Jupiter Rowland]

I don't know what it's like in Second Life. Maybe you can answer this.

But in OpenSim, I've got the impression that there's a very high pressure for conformity in many areas. If you don't conform to those unwritten standards, you don't count as a rebel with a style of your own. Instead, you're clueless or dumb or both. And if you deliberately refuse to conform, you're even dumber.

Avatar design covers many examples of this.

They start with what you build your avatar with. In OpenSim, you're expected to wear a copybotted Second Life mesh body, a copybotted Second Life skin, copybotted Second Life hair, copybotted Second Life clothes and so forth. That's what everyone™ does.

If you openly admit not to have an illegal body, the first assumption may pretty well be that you don't know "the good stuff" exists, much less where to get it. It seems fully justified to slip you a copybotted Maitreya Lara ("Athena"), Slink Physique Male ("Adonis"), Signature Gianni (used to be offered as "Apollo", now brazenly offered under its original name) etc. without even asking you if you want one. Why ask? Of course you want one, you just don't know it yet!

If you still don't wear it, chances are you'll be offered a personal tutorial in how to use that body. I mean, if you don't use it, that can only be because you don't know how, right? If you decline that tutorial and the body, you risk being considered a complete moron.

By the way, if you still have a system-plus-prim/sculpty/flexi avatar that looks like you've put a lot of effort into your virtual representation, and you've been in OpenSim for several years, you may pass as out-of-the-loop. But if you wear a Ruth 2.0, Roth 2.0 or any one of their descendants, you come over as someone who wanted to pimp their avatar with "that mesh thingy" but doesn't know where to get "the really good stuff" and went for whatever you came across first.

Fortunately, people leave me alone over this now. I think I already have a reputation as the Hypergrid's only expert on Ruth2 and Roth2. And Juno breaks so many rules, partly in ways that many wouldn't see as possible if she didn't do it, that what she does can only be deliberate and intentional.

But this goes even further.

Male avatars have to look as badass as possible. Unlike in Second Life where it was superseded by the business suit look, the "one-percenter motorbike rocker clad in black leather" look has not only never gone out of fashion, it's a male standard. The only alternative is the "Russian mafiya mobster" look. If you can't pull this off, you either don't know where to get the ingredients, or you're too stupid to make a good male avatar.

Female avatars have to be as sexy as possible. Now, "sexy" is defined by several points.

One, BBBBBL (Big Butt, Big Boobs, Big Lips). If your female avatar doesn't have those thick Botox'd-up fish lips, someone will assume you're incapable of adjusting your shape "right" and maybe even offer assistance by asking you to send them your shape so they can "fix" it. Now, mind you there isn't a single shape available on the Hypergrid that doesn't have fish lips. So if you see realistic lips, they were adjusted to that realistic shape intentionally. Also, petite/perky = potentially paedo and definitely unsexy.

Two, baring as much skin as possible. Sleeveless, enormous cleavage, preferably bare midriff and of course microskirt/microdress/hot pants with no fabric whatsoever from the hem downward. Except for sneakers if you're the punky style. And yes, you can and must wear that always and everywhere. Including snow-covered Christmas sims. I mean, male avatars seem to be expected to keep their black leather jacket on on subtropical beaches at noon, too.

Nylon is not allowed because it covers the legs which are supposed to be naked. The only exception are stockings which are clearly identifiable as stockings and worn as "lingerie in plain view", something that can and probably will get you banned from the Plazas in OSgrid. That's also why nobody has stolen sheer nylon tights for BoM avatars from Second Life yet which would be required under more than 90% of all skirts and dresses. There are legal ones made for the system body, but on top of unsexy, they count as "old crap", so you'd better neither admit nor get caught wearing them.

Special mention goes to skirts and dresses. They only count as "sexy" if they bare the buttocks, and they can only be considered "racy" if they uncover the crotch as well, making it mandatory to wear a thong which otherwise is not even optional. Anything that could touch your thighs is "conservative". Anything that goes below half the length of your thighs without being a ballgown and/or having a slit all the way up to your hip is "grandma" clothing and to be avoided at all costs.

Three, high heels. "High" heels are neutral standard. If you want to be sexy, you need platform soles so that you can have even higher heels. Everything less high is unsexy. That's why only about one pair of medium-heeled pumps and one or two pairs of medium-heeled boots have been copybotted from SL. There are actually more legal medium-heeled shoes made for Ruth 2.0 on the Hypergrid than illegal medium-heeled shoes "rigged for Athena". And the last flat shoes were 'botted in 2015 or so. Nobody seems to want them anyway, and nobody wants to see your avatar in them.

Actually, forget pumps. Always only ever wear sandals, mules or thigh-high boots.

Oh, and again, you can walk on platform soles and 8" spike heels on any surface including powdery sandy beaches as well as snow and frozen lakes.

Interestingly, "as sexy as possible" does not mean completely naked. Always keep at least a micro-bikini on your female avatar and your full usual street outfit on your male avatar. Even if clothing is optional. Even if nudity is recommended. Even if in-world signs say that clothing is, in fact, not optional but forbidden. Only strip your female avatar down entirely if there are enough naked female avatars drawing the guys' attention upon them that you seem prudish in comparison.

And your male avatar is only allowed to take anything off immediately before sex, not only, but also because nude male avatars who don't have their partner with them are seen as sexual predators.

Speaking of beaches, not only the look of your avatar can easily make you look dumb, but so can your avatar's behaviour.

Beaches are only there for partying, for playing greedy in a tropical Tiki setting, for public sex and/or to make the edges of your island look pretty. If you actually want to go swimming on a beach, you're an idiot. Nobody goes swimming on virtual beaches. You're as much an idiot if you build your own beaches in such a way that avatars can go swimming there. Whoever says otherwise is just as dumb as you are.

Even worse, you want to change your swimwear after swimming to get out of your wet garments? Why? Nobody ever does this in Baywatch. Swimwear always dries within two minutes. Yes, even if a beach is not modelled after Southern California, the Caribbean or Hawaii, but after New England, France, northern Germany or even Norway.

While we're at it, if you change clothes by taking them off piece by piece and then putting them on piece by piece instead of directly going from one complete outfit to another, you're clearly too dumb to handle an avatar. If you justify it with realism, immersion and actually having prepared for this with a multitude of outfits that you go though, you go from dumb to retarded. Nobody gives a fuck about realism, nobody knows what immersion even is, and everyone who doesn't always do everything the most convenient way must be brain-damaged or something.

And you're considered just as dumb if you do as if your avatar doesn't always have their full inventory at hand. If you say you can't change into no-matter-what wherever you are just like so, people are tempted to think you either haven't understood inventory handling on the Hypergrid yet, or you actually don't know how to change clothes on your avatar.

Or how about your home? If you're a girl, you have to have a nice little house decorated with all kinds of useless but pretty things. If you're a guy, you have to have a frigging mansion with "a" Lamborghini Veneno parked in front of it, and all rooms must be sex or BDSM caves. What kind of moron must you be to have a wardrobe in your bedroom, at least one fully-equipped and scripted bathroom, a dining-room with working chairs et cetera?

Next, let's suppose you need to move around on a sim or to a neighbouring sim. Let's say you're on your way to a party. A teleporter right onto the dancefloor is provided, or you get teleport invitations, but you insist in walking all the way. People won't accept your, "I prefer walking because it's more natural and realistic and immersive than teleporting." Instead, they'll assume that you don't know how to teleport. Nobody would ever choose the vastly more inconvenient over the much more convenient.

To bring this to an end, this extends to how to enter and exit a party. You're expected to teleport right in and either teleport right out or even close your viewer while you're still on the dance floor. So why do you teleport to somewhere nearby but that can't be seen from the party and then walk to the party? Again, don't you know how to teleport? And what kind of wacko are you even to walk away from the party to somewhere out of sight? Literally nobody gives a fuck if they can see you teleport because literally everybody always teleports in front of everyone else's noses!

So if you're doing something differently, you're doing it wrong, and you're probably an idiot.

 

[Khamon]

Khamon is a green ruth sprite, often presumed female, and assumed to be the most backward traditionalist prim baby on The Grid All Hail The Central Grid. He does not care that people want to fix him because there are so many friends who accept him unconditionally. Oh and he wears a tux on the beach, with wings, and no shoes (he never wears shoes).

 

[Kamilah Hauptmann]

But in OpenSim, I've got the impression that there's a very high pressure for conformity in many areas. If you don't conform to those unwritten standards, you don't count as a rebel with a style of your own. Instead, you're clueless or dumb or both. And if you deliberately refuse to conform, you're even dumber.

This is common in many (all?) open source communities. A significant number of people’s payout is in pedantic behaviour.

Take Linux. Ask for help, get called an idiot told to read the man files. Say “Linux blows because it can’t do X like Windows can” and get called an idiot by ten people who then embark in a king of the ring cage match competing to give you the best answer and explanation.

 

[Veritable Quandry]

How to get help in Linux forums:

1. Post your question.
2. Use an alt to post a wrong answer.
3. Wait for people to correct the alt.

 

[Argent Stonecutter]

I used to do that to get help with Windows back in the '90s on Usenet.

Anyway, this is my usual avatar these days:

There's a bunch of clubs I hang out at, but mostly Mythos where everyone at least seems happy to see me.

 

[Argent Stonecutter]

My home is a dock in a trashed out swamp, with the main decor a stack of old CRT TVs.

There's a couple of scripted birds on this property that have been flying around continuously for almost 20 years.

What originally convinced me that I REALLY needed to get into SL, I was in this sandbox, and this cartoon penguin showed up and threw down a sheet of cardboard and started breaking. I hadda get me some of that. This was in 2005. It's only gotten weirder since.

Anyway I tried opensim and tried to get set up legally. Wasn't happening.

I did hang out in one of the opensim-based isolated worlds (Inworldz), mostly because one of my favorite builders was there. I did some scripting for them in exchange for some avatars. Inworldz seemed to be trying to duplicate the whole SL economy thing, but apparently couldn't get it off the ground.


Anyway the conformity you're talking about does exist to some extent in SL. Like, some sims will kick and ban a non-human avatar like mine on sight. But it's not the norm.

 

[CronoCloud Creeggan]

I don't know what it's like in Second Life. Maybe you can answer this.

SL is like OpenSim but with more people who are willing to spend money.

But in OpenSim, I've got the impression that there's a very high pressure for conformity in many areas.

There's conformity in SL too, to a certain extent. Varies in various communities.

In OpenSim, you're expected to wear a copybotted Second Life mesh body, a copybotted Second Life skin, copybotted Second Life hair, copybotted Second Life clothes and so forth. That's what everyone™ does.

I used to say that OpenSim is SL, but with less people, and with those people wanting everything free.

Male avatars have to look as badass as possible. Unlike in Second Life where it was superseded by the business suit look, the "one-percenter motorbike rocker clad in black leather" look has not only never gone out of fashion, it's a male standard. .

Oh that badass biker-rocker is still seen in SL, they're the ones with the sexy as possible BBBBBL girlfriends.

Female avatars have to be as sexy as possible. Now, "sexy" is defined by several points.

We have that in SL, though the sexy varies by community.

Two, baring as much skin as possible. Sleeveless, enormous cleavage, preferably bare midriff and of course microskirt/microdress/hot pants with no fabric whatsoever from the hem downward. Except for sneakers if you're the punky style. And yes, you can and must wear that always and everywhere. Including snow-covered Christmas sims.

That exists in SL to, to a certain extent. Though some of us DO change what we wear depending on season.

Anything that goes below half the length of your thighs without being a ballgown and/or having a slit all the way up to your hip is "grandma" clothing and to be avoided at all costs.

I wear a lot of grandma clothing then. But I really don't by RL standards.

Three, high heels. "High" heels are neutral standard. If you want to be sexy, you need platform soles so that you can have even higher heels. Everything less high is unsexy.

That exists to a certain extent in SL, though there are some who do wear flats, sneakers, wedges, and so forth.

Beaches are only there for partying, for playing greedy in a tropical Tiki setting, for public sex and/or to make the edges of your island look pretty. If you actually want to go swimming on a beach, you're an idiot. Nobody goes swimming on virtual beaches.

Beaches are there for partying, though some do swim/float/surf on them. I've had some lovely times, just sitting in a beach chair or float ring chatting with friends. I also have a specialized swimming HUD, just in case.

Even worse, you want to change your swimwear after swimming to get out of your wet garments?

Ha ha ha, I must admit, I haven't thought about that.

While we're at it, if you change clothes by taking them off piece by piece and then putting them on piece by piece instead of directly going from one complete outfit to another, you're clearly too dumb to handle an avatar.

That's how I change, because generally I don't want to repeat an exact outfit, so I'm deciding on the fly.

And you're considered just as dumb if you do as if your avatar doesn't always have their full inventory at hand. If you say you can't change into no-matter-what wherever you are just like so,

Some people think I'm a bit weird in SL for changing on the spot on a whim, but that's an oldbie fashionista thing.

Or how about your home? If you're a girl, you have to have a nice little house decorated with all kinds of useless but pretty things.What kind of moron must you be to have a wardrobe in your bedroom, at least one fully-equipped and scripted bathroom, a dining-room with working chairs et cetera?

I have a nice little house decorated with useless things, like a dining set with working chairs and a wardrobe in my bedroom. I also have a washer and dryer in my she-shed near my photo area.

or you get teleport invitations, but you insist in walking all the way.

I prefer to teleport to the standard entry landing point and walk to the dancefloor. Don't want to land on top of someone. Generally works better for rezzing too.

To bring this to an end, this extends to how to enter and exit a party. You're expected to teleport right in and either teleport right out or even close your viewer while you're still on the dance floor. Literally nobody gives a fuck if they can see you teleport because literally everybody always teleports in front of everyone else's noses!

But, I'll teleport out or log out directly from the dance floor.

He does not care that people want to fix him because there are so many friends who accept him unconditionally.

Those are always good friends.

This is common in many (all?) open source communities. A significant number of people’s payout is in pedantic behaviour.

Imagine the meme with the stick figure guy raising finger to disagree....then putting it down because it turns out he agrees.

Take Linux. Ask for help, get called an idiot told to read the man files. Say “Linux blows because it can’t do X like Windows can” and get called an idiot by ten people who then embark in a king of the ring cage match competing to give you the best answer and explanation.

I rather like the cage match competing to give you the best answer. ;-)

How to get help in Linux forums:

1. Post your question.
2. Use an alt to post a wrong answer.
3. Wait for people to correct the alt.

That'll work, though it is generally faster to find a Trans reddit/IRC channel/discord and ask the question there. You'll have a bunch of UwU catgirls competing to help you.

Anyway, this is my usual avatar these days:

There's a bunch of clubs I hang out at, but mostly Mythos where everyone at least seems happy to see me.

Who's a handsome wolf pupper? You are! CC wants to pet wolfy Doggo!

Anyway the conformity you're talking about does exist to some extent in SL.

Yep
[

Like, some sims will kick and ban a non-human avatar like mine on sight. But it's not the norm.

Romantic-centered venues are more likely to have "humanoid avatar" rules, like the Lesbian Teahouse. Not for sure if anthro's would be kicked though. Demongirls, drowgirls, elfgirls and catgirls (the ears and tail only kind) are okay from what I've seen.

 

[Kamilah Hauptmann]

That'll work, though it is generally faster to find a Trans reddit/IRC channel/discord and ask the question there. You'll have a bunch of UwU catgirls competing to help you.

The time some guy went to r/trans for transmission trouble and got help anyway.

 

[Jopsy Pendragon]

I popped into SL for the first time in half a year or more today. Tried to update my 'signature gianni' body, it didn't go well... (head/mask/color-matching problems sigh).

I've never had the interest in the opensim side of things. Trust issues mostly. If I can't run it myself I want someone running it who has something vaguely resembling fiduciary responsibility. OpenSim mods/management are too 'wild frontier' for my comfort.

I like noodling with my avatar until it looks nice -to me-, I don't give a rat's ass what anyone else thinks, never have. I log in and then promptly find something to tinker with. For someone who's spent as much time in MMO's as I have... I'm really rather anti-social 90% of the time, or more.

Here's me today... same as 5 years ago at this point, more or less:

 

[Sid]

There is groups pressure in SL already.
Sometimes SL is just like high school, where the cool kids decide what goes.
Just like in RL influencers are the latest cool thing. I guess a lot of people are so insecure that they stick to the high school routine.

Look at the weekend sales. Mainstream in SL at the moment for women: Wasp waist combined with an ass like an elephant, skirts starting at the waist ending 2 inches lower. Tatoos and self modulation.

Taking the weekend sales as the norm for guys: haircut from a junior apprentice who just did his first haircut and now is desperately waiting for the boss to show up and fix it somehow, tatoos all over the place from the neck down to the ankles, a body that needs workouts 8 hours a day minimum, to keep that shape alive. Pence as low under the waist, that it needs a miracle, so it doesn't drop to the angles first step one makes.
And the shape and size of the sausage has to show through the pants these days.

Thankfully there are a lot of people left with some style and class as well. And of course there are the originals who could not care less what others think and are like they want to be. I think Grumpity Linden's avatar is a nice example of that:

For me it is simple: Same as in RL: ultra short hair, shirt, jeans, sneakers 99% of the time.
The rest of the time I dress for the occasion, like for a Christmas or a Halloween party.

 

[Jopsy Pendragon]

Fwiw, got my mesh body update issues sorted... basically started over from scratch. I'm sorta non-plussed about how how freaking beefy the body seems to be now. It needs work. Looks okay otherwise considering he's been dead for 7-8 months...

 

[Sid]

I simply did not do the upgrade. I'm on a Gianni too.
There is no chance of a virus infection or malware when one doesn't update. So why would I?

 

[Noodles]

I simply did not do the upgrade. I'm on a Gianni too.
There is no chance of a virus infection or malware when one doesn't update. So why would I?

I was thinking clothing compatability, but I only know of one body that ever broke old clothes when it updated, and that is Piggu Johnathan.

Maybe its worthwhile if a new feature like BOM or Bento hands were added.

 

[Argent Stonecutter]

Who's a handsome wolf pupper? You are! CC wants to pet wolfy Doggo!

TWI fox base with "fusky" fox/husky fur pattern. It was a OOAK - so pricey - but it was so distinctive I bought it and the cat version for my cat alt.

 

[CronoCloud Creeggan]

TWI fox base with "fusky" fox/husky fur pattern. It was a OOAK - so pricey - but it was so distinctive I bought it and the cat version for my cat alt.

Yeah, you couldn't pass that fur up. Thanks for the heads up on the cat version too.

 

[Jopsy Pendragon]

I simply did not do the upgrade. I'm on a Gianni too.
There is no chance of a virus infection or malware when one doesn't update. So why would I?

I had been using ga.eg's Evan head, but it never really integrated well, I saw Signature added heads to their line and just grabbed one instead, figured I may as well update everything all at once. Maybe.. just maybe, try making some clothes to go with it that are more than just system layer "paint jobs" for a change.

 

[Argent Stonecutter]

Yeah, you couldn't pass that fur up. Thanks for the heads up on the cat version too.

It's a one-of-a-kind, and I already have it.

 

[CronoCloud Creeggan]

It's a one-of-a-kind, and I already have it.

I realized that after I posted and then had CC sadface. Well, at least someone COOL and Awesome has it.

 

[Soen Eber]

Still a system body, but unique enough and with just enough functional style and rp experience to be likeable so I can pull it off. Present a fantasy and stay true enough to it so as to not break the scene and it can work.

A lot of women like a wind-up doll boy provided he can be a good listener and can carry through with the rest of the (PG-rated) fantasy

 

[Jupiter Rowland]

There's conformity in SL too, to a certain extent. Varies in various communities.

Of course, we have our niches, too, where those standards don't apply. Medieval roleplay, medieval high fantasy roleplay, that one Victorian-style sim...

And where Juno and I are at home, I guess we're rather admired for having our own styles, especially Juno.

Oh that badass biker-rocker is still seen in SL, they're the ones with the sexy as possible BBBBBL girlfriends.

Not too different from here.

We have that in SL, though the sexy varies by community.

Granted, in OpenSim, it doesn't really help that the definition of sexy is kind of enforced by those who rip clothes from SL and therefore get to choose what is there for female avatars to wear in the first place.

That exists in SL to, to a certain extent. Though some of us DO change what we wear depending on season.

Very few avatars do that here. One reason is because they want to be "sexy" all the time.

Another reason, see above, is that it's hard to dress your female avatar for winter or actually for anything that isn't summer. If you want to dress your Athena/Lara-based avatar like for an Ibiza summer club party, you can do that in almost every freebie store out there. If you're looking for something for when you'd turn up the heating, you could go Hypergridding for days without finding anything and decide there simply isn't anything for cooler seasons, just to maybe stumble upon something weeks or months or years later.

If you have one of those bodies that have arrived in OpenSim since last year, there actually isn't anything that could be worn when it isn't summer. That'd be unsexy.

And yet, Juno who uses a Ruth2 v4 body and refuses to wear any illegal clothes doesn't have any problems dressing for all kinds of seasons or occasions including winter. Granted, that's also because she makes full use of BoM and does not refuse to wear old layer tights or stockings made for the system avatar.

That exists to a certain extent in SL, though there are some who do wear flats, sneakers, wedges, and so forth.

I've taken a look into the Marketplace. There really don't seem to be so many medium-heeled shoes or boots to choose from, I guess.

As I've said, they're readily available for the Ruth2 family and not exactly few of them.

Beaches are there for partying, though some do swim/float/surf on them. I've had some lovely times, just sitting in a beach chair or float ring chatting with friends. I also have a specialized swimming HUD, just in case.

There are a few beaches around the Hypergrid where people can swim, but it takes a few things for that. One is at least one swim rezzer; you click it, it rezzes a lifesaver, and when you sit on the lifesaver, it disappears, and you swim.

And then there's the general shape of the shore line. Some make it from the ground itself, but they let it drop unnaturally sharply, sometimes so steeply that you immediately drop to zero, and you have to fly to get back out. It's like they've never seen a real beach.

Others do the same, but they conceal it under mesh beach segments, usually by Skye (I'm still not really convinced that Skye actually has a shop in the Kitely Market). Of course, they leave everything below the meshes hollow. It's impossible to walk back out of the water this way, but they don't notice. They've never been in the water, and they can't imagine anyone else would ever go for a swim.

Ha ha ha, I must admit, I haven't thought about that.

That's what we were taught by our parents or our friends' parents when we were kids: When you come out of the water, change into something dry ASAP. I mean, the place where I grew up isn't exactly SoCal, Hawaii or the Caribbean.

Some people think I'm a bit weird in SL for changing on the spot on a whim, but that's an oldbie fashionista thing.

What I meant was a bit if immersive play/realistic play/light roleplay. You can only put on what you've actually brought along with you. And you certainly didn't bring a few dozen suitcases with all your clothes with you to this party, did you?

If this has become common in SL, that's nice. In OpenSim, you're a weirdo if you act like this.

I prefer to teleport to the standard entry landing point and walk to the dancefloor. Don't want to land on top of someone. Generally works better for rezzing too.

But, I'll teleport out or log out directly from the dance floor.

I myself prefer to teleport to somewhere that a) can't be seen from the party and b) would ideally also be where I'd arrive if this was real life. That's why I usually take landmarks on piers or docks, at bus stops, at railway stations etc.

And before I teleport out, I prefer to walk somewhere where nobody can see me teleport. Sometimes, depending on where I am, I actually walk all the way home. Or I drive if I have my car with me.

Stark contrast to those who don't even stop dancing before they click the X in the top right corner.

Look at the weekend sales. Mainstream in SL at the moment for women: Wasp waist combined with an ass like an elephant, skirts starting at the waist ending 2 inches lower. Tatoos and self modulation.

Let me take two guesses: eBody Reborn or Kupra?

They've been botted already, too, they haven't even been renamed, and they're spreading slowly but steadily. I was almost afraid that a regular Athena (Maitreya Lara) will be considered underage soon with these bodies around, but we've got Legacy and Legacy Perky now as well.

Nonetheless, your description fits the eBody stuff I've seen so far. It's almost as if nothing else is even being made for that body in SL in the first place.

At least the bodies themselves aren't as outrageous as Slink Physique Hourglass which has made it to the Hypergrid under various names. For this body, hips three times as wide as the waist are standard. But at least you can get some decent clothes for it, probably also because like Lara, it has been around since the "bot what you can, our avatars need something to wear" phase when even jeans and sneakers were botted, and the goal was not to dress every female avatar like a Russian mafiya mobster's slut yet.