Question of the Day # 10 - A More Serious Note

[Cristiano]

So far the questions have been light hearted, but I thought in the midst of what is happening, I would pose a more serious question for discussion.

Recently, Grindr announced they are removing filters for racial/ethnic preference in solidarity with Black Lives Matter.

Do you think having a preference for a particular race/ethnicity is racist?

I personally think it is complicated. My strongest attraction physically tends to be toward darker skin and eyes, but that is just my preference. It doesn't mean I would not consider someone based upon that. Certainly people who put things in their profiles like "no blacks no asians" are racist and deserve scorn. Simply preferring something based on your attraction is not in itself racist.

I do think removing filters like that from dating apps is a positive step.

 

[Noodles]

I don't use these apps but they show a picture of the person first correct?

So you can still, pick your preference, I suppose, but now you may have to sift through more people who are not into.

This move seems a little dumb honestly. I don't think being less or not attracted to a particular race is particularly racist.

People have all sorts of various visual features that fit their attraction. Hair color, height, weight, build, facial structure, etc. It kind of seems like skin color probably falls into that category. Attraction in general is just kind of a crazy weird beast.

Having people sort through extra people that they just don't find attractive seems like wasting people's time.

That said, I have not used these sort of apps. I have no idea if there are other sorting options (hair color etc) or not. I suppose of they don't offer other filters, then they may as well remove a race based filter as well.

 

[Free]

Do you think having a preference for a particular race/ethnicity is racist?

No. I don't tend to look at race when I'm considering a sexual partner, but I also don't really consider it a racist attitude to do so.

Now, if you're preferences are based on racist views, well then yeah.

 

[Aribeth Zelin]

I don't. I've known more than enough people with preferences for one look [I'm using look because when I was younger, my look type was 'Bishy' though I didn't know the term until a bit later. And in almost every single instance, that is not what they chose for their spouse, myself included. Looks are only part of the whole thing, and as long as the reasons for preferring certain looks to another aren't racist ones, then I don't think its inherently racist.

 

[Jopsy Pendragon]

I get that people can't help what they're aroused by, and if that were the only factor involved, I'd say filter away... but hook-up sites don't need to make it easier for racists to pretend like they live in a world without 'undesirables'.

Then again, I'm just bitter because even if I could golem up the ideal male in RL by specifying search criteria... I know damned well that a reclusive, apathetic, aromantic ace like me would find trying to keep up with them exhausting and annoying, so why bother? (not looking for pity, this isn't "sour grapes", it's much more like: "I'm just not hungry enough to bother with making any effort.")

 

[Maitimo]

I agree with Free; it's not racist to have a "type" that you're more attracted to, but it's not inherently racist unless you derive your "type" due to racist opinions. My "type" is more to do with a body-type than skin colour; I'm attracted to taller, slimmer, more feminine men, particularly with long hair. The nearer they look to "elf", the more I like them, and that aesthetic is appealing to me regardless of race or skin colour. (And then I went and married a guy in RL who's short and built like a prize bull ).

I don't use Grindr any more but I applaud the decision. Even though you can see from the photo what someone looks like, you might just find your Mr Right amongst the ones you'd otherwise have filtered out.

 

[Free]

(And then I went and married a guy in RL who's short and built like a prize bull )

Anyone can have elvish qualities.

(We have elf smilies - how about that!)