Question for women.

[aliensalmon]

Do you get a lot of private messages when you are in message boards or chat? The reason why I ask because I play as woman characters often in social platforms (virtual worlds/games like Second Life) and I often get private messages from men. I just want to know if this is a common experience for online women regardless of the platform they're using.

 

[Noodles]

Most of the time I disable any ability to get messages from anyone I don't follow on every platform. Or just ignore it completely like, my Instagram always has this little red dot in thebcorner because I never use Instagram messenger. In non SL stuff I often also don't use an avatar eith a face.

I do get random IMs in SL a lot. Though I kind of want those depending on my mood.

 

[Free]

Regularly, but it can depend.

I don't receive a lot of unsolicited IMs in Second Life, and those I do get I just ignore. I see more spams/scams than anything. Or the occasional tome (with attached note card) referencing a club I own - people sometimes have opinions on how it's run. I tend to ignore those, too.

Thankfully, here on Virtualverse and back when we had SLU, my private messages have been almost all positive ones, simple Friendly Greetings® and the like.

 

[Fionalein]

I get less obnoxious ones when in feral Kitty form,...

"aww you're cute" is way nicer than an unsolicited "how r u?"

 

[Lexxi]

Do you get a lot of private messages when you are in message boards or chat?

No. Though I do mostly use profile pictures that are cats (I think I've used that cat being used here since, like, 2007).

 

[Noodles]

No. Though I do mostly use profile pictures that are cats (I think I've used that cat being used here since, like, 2007).

The profile pic thing really helps. I assume partially because its like, it weeds out any surface level, "Oh look a woman" impulses. Then the left overs still don't really know what you look like, so, at least for the creepy types, they probably just assume you are "too fat" or something and are hiding yourself.

Basically, if you aren't begging for attention, even in the slightest most innocent way at all, its pretty easy to avoid.

 

[Christine Nyn]

Not on forums.
When I first started in SL I got pestered a lot in public areas like sandboxes and even resorted to making an avatar that was a little old man just to get some peace and quiet.

 

[GoblinCampFollower]

Do you get a lot of private messages when you are in message boards or chat? The reason why I ask because I play as woman characters often in social platforms (virtual worlds/games like Second Life) and I often get private messages from men. I just want to know if this is a common experience for online women regardless of the platform they're using.

The short answer is yes, this is a common experience. It can vary a lot based on platform and how you present yourself or what profile pictures you use, etc. But in general, many dudes will be very eager to be your "friend."

This extends to RL of course. At work and in random locations, people are a lot more "friendly" when you are attractive to them. It's not always overtly creepy, but many dudes who are just polite to dudes will bend over backwards to make "friends" with ladies who they see as attractive. The more conventionally feminine you are, the more you'll notice this. Some of my friends who are very pretty get it a lot more than I do. It honestly can be a huge pain to very attractive women who are just trying to work for a living.

It's also not entirely a men hitting on women thing either. I've known guys who look like male models who also get a lot more "friendly" attention from random people than average looking guys do.

 

[Cindy Claveau]

Back when I was more regular in SL, I got private (and usually suggestive) messages all the time. Mosly I just ignored them unless they actually had something to say. Today I'm not online enough to worry about it.

 

[Soen Eber]

In world, while I clearly identify as a cis male, my name and appearance is just "fuzzy enough" that I'll get hit on maybe once a month when I am actively involved in SL, being something of an exotic but non-erotic non-furry personnae (aside from neko ears & tails) - one I take to make it easier for women to talk with me as a non-threatening male. I do tend towards a small circle in-world so most are friendly and well-intentioned, but it might also explain why I don't travel so much in-world.

Never had that problem with IM's since I mostly hang here and my public-facing social media is pure cis male without any of the fuzzyness.

 

[GoblinCampFollower]

In world, while I clearly identify as a cis male, my name and appearance is just "fuzzy enough" that I'll get hit on maybe once a month when I am actively involved in SL...

There have been plenty times I genuinely couldn't figure out of someone's nice looking avatar was a dude or not, lol. Usually the profile says something but sometimes it doesn't... It's obviously that much harder with many furries... My SL avatars are generally VERY feminine but with the internet being the internet I do sometimes get confusion about if I'm a futa or not.... (the answer is no, and nothing in my profile mentions futa, lol).

 

[Soen Eber]

Close, but also not Futa. Non-binary neko harlequin toy windup doll, with sparkly home-made key and mismatched slippers. Like something out of a Japanese fantasy young adult story book perhaps, since I was using some Anime (mo) principles to create it but without the treacle. I'll close my involvement here, since the post was for women, mostly.

 

[Essence Lumin]

<----- Nobody hits me up in SL. probably too weird.

 

[Noodles]

<----- Nobody hits me up in SL. probably too weird.

Join more fetish groups.

Or heck, even not very fetishy ones. I think I get the most from this one Para RP group I am in. I probably should just leave it, I like the concept but I rarely have the energy for that much effort. (We are talking book level intros sometimes).

 

[Rose Karuna]

Nobody hits me up either. Granted, I'm pretty darn weird, however, I've also made my Avatar a little old lady, which I am in RL too. I also note in my profile that I've been married to the same person for 30 years + and we are also partnered in SL.

 

[NipahRika]

Nope. No one hits me up whatsoever on forums or games. I tended to just do whatever in SL and even on forums.

 

[Jopsy Pendragon]

Do you get a lot of private messages when you are in message boards or chat? The reason why I ask because I play as woman characters often in social platforms (virtual worlds/games like Second Life) and I often get private messages from men. I just want to know if this is a common experience for online women regardless of the platform they're using.

It's painfully obvious that 'men' presume that 'Jopsy' is a girlname... I've gotten unsolicited 'interest' on all sorts of platforms for decades. Doesn't matter if the profile pic has a goatee or says I'm a guy... and of course after it gets to the point that I have to point out that I'm a guy, they vanish as fast as a fart in a hurricane.

 

[CronoCloud Creeggan]

I do in SL, though not as often as some of my friends and acquaintances think I probably do.

 

[Monica Dream]

Never on forums, ever. Probably because I come off as a psycho! (that, and the fact that I am not shy about saying I'm older than dirt)