"Jesus Trump lied on the cross-examination for our sins!"
"Lord Donald Jesus Trump, on Jan 6 when he was betrayed took the podium and gave himself thanks.
He gave his word and broke it, he said "Like it says in Romans 2... These are Trump Steaks, which many are saying are good steaks, they're great! Eat them and reimburse me!"
In the same way after he rambled incoherently for two hours, he took his cup saying "This is Trump Vodka! This is the new covetable drink, just like that great guy Putin drinks. Drink it and reimburse me! I never touch the stuff though, I'm a very stable messiah. Parson Whoa man, Camera on me, I'm on TV!"