Nobody Cares: the Non-Fungible Thread

[Kamilah Hauptmann]

And yet, he fell headlong into this scam, he didn't even snap out of it when a friend he tried to beg money from told him outright that he was being suckered.

I’ve lived this and it is absolutely insidious. Ordinarily sage people lose all their brain cells.

 

[Noodles]

Then there is this from June 18. And what about not being involved in securities without being in violation of parole?

It's cool, the whole point of Crypto is it's fake monopoly money and outside the control of the evil government and actually worthless at the end of the day.

 

[Argent Stonecutter]

funge (noun) (obsolete) A fool or simpleton.

Be not ashamed of thy birth then, thou art a gentleman all the world over, and shalt be honoured, whenas he, strip him of his fine clothes, dispossess him of his wealth, is a funge […]
-- 1624, Democritus Junior [pseudonym; Robert Burton], The Anatomy of Melancholy: […], 2nd edition, Oxford, Oxfordshire: […] John Lichfield and James Short, for Henry Cripps, →OCLC, partition II, section 3, member 2

 

[Free]

I thought greed was good?

Ex-bank CEO gets 24 years after falling for crypto scam, causing bank collapse

Former bank CEO ignored warnings that he was being scammed while tanking bank.

arstechnica.com

A federal judge sentenced a 53-year-old Kansas man to more than 24 years in prison after the former bank CEO abused his trusted position to embezzle $47 million after falling for a cryptocurrency scam that he believed would make him wildly rich.

In a press release, the US Attorney's Office said that Shan Hanes was driven by "greed" when directing bank employees to transfer millions in funds to a sketchy crypto wallet managed by still-unknown third parties behind the so-called "pig butchering" scheme.

Hanes was first targeted by scammers in late 2022, apparently when he got a message from an unidentified co-conspirator on WhatsApp, prosecutors said. After blowing through his own funds seeking promised profits, Hanes stole tens of thousands from a local church, then a local investor club, and finally his daughter's college fund, NBC News reported. Then when all those wells dried up, he started stealing bank funds—all in the false hopes that sending more and more money to the scammers would somehow "unlock the supposed returns" on his crypto investments.

Of course, that did not happen in the slightest.

 

[Free]

funge (noun) (obsolete) A fool or simpleton.

Funge Recipe - African Food Network

Funge, also known as fufu, funje, mfundi, and many other names depending on the region, is a staple side dish in many parts of Africa. This creamy, starchy porridge is often served alongside flavorful stews, meats, or vegetables to provide a bland, smooth contrast to the stronger flavors. While it may look unassuming, funge is an essential part of the diet for millions of people.

Looks...tasty.

 

[Free]

Thread by @davetroy on Thread Reader App

@davetroy: Sunday thoughts, crypto-capture edition: 1. Bitcoin is a weapon. 2. Its purpose is to overthrow governments. 3. Crypto spending in this election cycle is greater than from any other source, including Big ...…

threadreaderapp.com

 

[Free]

Sorry for infusing yet another thread with Trump.

Donald Trump Seems Completely Baffled by His Own Crypto Project

Donald Trump has launched a brand new family crypto venture — and it's unclear if he knows how cryptocurrencies even work.

futurism.com

As the New York Times reports, Trump waxed vague and prolific during his lengthy livestream on X-formerly-Twitter announcing the new stablecoin project, known as World Liberty Financial, which the presidential hopeful is launching alongside his three sons.

"Crypto is one of those things we have to do," Trump prevaricated during the chat. "Whether we like it or not, I have to do it."

That's a far cry from his former stance that crypto is a "scam" — but what's perhaps funniest about the entire endeavor is that despite his complete flip-flop on the subject, it doesn't appear that the real estate mogul has any real understanding of what he's selling.

"Well, it's crypto, it's AI, it's some of the other things," Trump said. "You know, AI, speaking of an interesting future, it needs tremendous electricity capability, beyond anything I've ever heard."

"Some of the other things" is how he accidentally admits to grifting.

 

[Dakota Tebaldi]

Trump is that kid who stands up in front of the class and tries to fudge his way through an oral report for a book he clearly never read, only it's not a book, it's just literally every single thing.

 

[Dakota Tebaldi]

Forget hacking: this gang just beat people to steal their crypto

 

[Free]

Trump nailed it.

 

[Free]

Guy Who Threw Away $500 Million Bitcoin Hard Drive Sues Local Government to Search Dump

What do you do when you've thrown half a billion dollars worth of crypto in the trash?

gizmodo.com

I'd quote some of the article, but I'm laughing too hard to cut and paste correctly.

 

[Dakota Tebaldi]

The FBI got bored one day and decided to go after some low-hanging fruit, so they created a crypto token called NexFundAI and just put it out there and waited for the inevitable wave of financial fraudsters to start doing their thing with it. They've charged 18 people and organizations with market manipulation and wire fraud, amongst other goodies.

The word of the day here is "wash trading", which is one method of pump-and-dumping a security. You buy securities hoping that their value will increase and you can later sell them for more than you spent on them; but what if you don't want to wait? In the real-world that's just too bad; but in crypto-land what you do is build a whole platoon of sockpuppet bot wallets that you pretend are all real, different people, and you have them buy and sell your crypto coins between themselves, for more and more money each time. It's just you selling to yourself, but to some outsider who wants to buy crypto and is doing a little research to see what coins look like they're going to gain value, all of your fake trades look like real trades and give him confidence that the coin is doing well, so he buys the coin off of you for whatever price you and your bots have inflated it to. Easy money! And because this is crypto-land and a lot of people mistakenly believe they have a degree of anonymity, there are whole "companies" who openly advertise this blatantly illegal activity as a service, to people who want to inflate some coin they hold but don't have the know-how or patience to manage the wash-trading themselves.

You can read the DOJ's press release at the above link, but definitely don't miss the website the FBI set up for its crypto-coin, because it is hilariously on-point. It is full of the same gobbledegook and empty buzzword-bingo that every single crypto project website is made of.

Welcome to NexFundAI, where finance meets the future. Our vision is to create a cryptocurrency token that serves as a secure store of value while driving positive change in the realm of artificial intelligence. Partnering with NextFundAI, we channel fees from our token into early-stage AI projects, generating returns distributed back to our token holders. But we're more than just an investment vehicle – we're a catalyst for innovation. Our mission is to revolutionize cryptocurrency and AI by providing not only financial returns but also tangible utility. Transparent, innovative, and community-centric, NexFundAI empowers you to shape the future of finance and technology. Join us on this transformative journey, where trust, innovation, and positive impact converge for a brighter tomorrow.

 

[Free]

You can read the DOJ's press release at the above link, but definitely don't miss the website the FBI set up for its crypto-coin, because it is hilariously on-point.

They went with a .com, rather than a .ai. One sign they were still thinking a little like FBI agents

 

[Free]

Is the secret finally revealed?

Peter Todd in hiding after being “unmasked” as bitcoin creator

An HBO documentary says he is the real Satoshi Nakamoto.

arstechnica.com

When Canadian developer Peter Todd found out that a new HBO documentary, Money Electric: The Bitcoin Mystery, was set to identify him as Satoshi Nakamoto, the creator of Bitcoin, he was mostly just pissed. “This was clearly going to be a circus,” Todd told WIRED in an email.

The identity of the person—or people—who created Bitcoin has been the subject of speculation since December 2010, when they disappeared from public view. The mystery has proved all the more irresistible for the trove of bitcoin Satoshi is widely believed to have controlled, suspected to be worth many billions of dollars today. When the documentary was released on October 8, Todd joined a long line of alleged Satoshis.

Since the documentary aired, Todd has repeatedly and categorically denied that he created Bitcoin: “For the record, I am not Satoshi,” he alleges. “I think Cullen made the Satoshi accusation for marketing. He needed a way to get attention for his film.”

 

[Khamon]

Is the secret finally revealed?

Peter Todd in hiding after being “unmasked” as bitcoin creator

An HBO documentary says he is the real Satoshi Nakamoto.

arstechnica.com

Doubtful

 

[Free]

Oh no, MrBeast could be involved with fraud. Anyway...

MrBeast Accused of Massive Crypto Fraud

A group of digital sleuths have accused YouTuber Jimmy "MrBeast" Donaldson of getting crypto-rich from several scams.

futurism.com

In an incredibly detailed new investigation, a group of digital sleuths have accused YouTuber Jimmy "MrBeast" Donaldson of getting crypto-rich from numerous scams.

"A team of researchers has since conducted a more detailed analysis, uncovering connections to over 50 cryptocurrency wallets linked to MrBeast," the analysts wrote on their website, Loock.io. "Their findings suggest a long history of insider trading, misleading investors, and using his influence to promote tokens, only to later dump them on the market."

The Loock team is alleging, among other things, that Donaldson's public relationships with crypto shills can be traced to his crypto activity to demonstrate that he was tipped off about projects before their value ballooned. Paired with his alleged participation in scammy crypto projects, MrBeast is said to have made $23 million worth of digital currencies — money he doesn't need considering that he's gotten ludicrously rich from his various businesses.

 

[Dakota Tebaldi]

LOL, that guy is not having a good time the last couple of months.

 

[Dakota Tebaldi]

Ubisoft's NFT game, called "Champions Tactics: Grimoria Chronicles", has been exploited by one particular player who has somehow been auto-winning matches, with over 56,000 wins to his name so far. Players are reporting that they are matched with this one person every single time they try to start a match, and the match is then automatically won before it actually starts. Ubisoft asserts it has banned the offender, but players contend that they keep getting matched up with him (and losing) nonetheless.

Ubisoft's recent NFT game was very quietly released a week ago with essentially no fanfare outside of crypto/NFT circles, and comes after the company's first failure in the space in 2021 when it attempted to sell NFT cosmetic items for its game Ghost Recon; it only sold 15 NFTs for a total of around $500's worth before canceling the project.

 

[Argent Stonecutter]

You had me at "Ubisoft's recent NFT game". Holy cow. RECENT? What reality do they live in?

 

[Dakota Tebaldi]

You had me at "Ubisoft's recent NFT game". Holy cow. RECENT? What reality do they live in?

It's SUPER weird. After their failure in 2021/2022 Ubisoft SEEMED to pull the plug, but the veep in charge of the NFT things was extremely salty and saying things like "the players just don't get it", so I guess maybe it was always in the cards that he would refuse to let Ubisoft give up on the idea? Video gamers practically universally hate the idea of NFTs in games and made that pretty clear back then, and for the life of me I couldn't tell you what Ubisoft might have seen in the last year that made them think that sentiment has changed.

Here's an article about the game exploit with a lot more detail...turns out, it wasn't even an exploit, the "cheating" player had no idea what was going on either.

"We sincerely apologize to Schilleri11 and Paulstar111, as the problem was due to a matchmaking bug, and they were banned for security reasons," Biloukat said. "We have, of course, lifted their bans and kindly ask everyone to be understanding towards them."

Now, if this had REALLY been a blockchain game, there would be no way to correct those two players' win counts, or the losses of the rest of the players, because blockchains are uneditable. But games being "web3" and "powered by the blockchain" are more or less blatant lies; the game pieces might be NFTs but the entire rest of these games' infrastructures run on good old Web 2.0, because that's the only way they could ever actually be functional.