Have you ever grieved someone you only knew in a virtual world?

[liam_murph]

This one’s personal -

A while ago, someone I used to talk to almost every day in-world just… disappeared. No goodbye. No message. Just gone.

And it hurt in a way I wasn’t ready for. I never met them. Don’t know their real name. But they were part of my life.

Has anyone else grieved someone like that? A digital friend who vanished? Or passed? Just wondering how others cope when the connection was real… but the goodbye wasn’t.

 

[Noodles]

No one from a virtual world, but a couple of people I knew from Usenet have died, one I was pretty good friends with who died pretty young.

 

[MattOrbit]

I’ve felt that too. It’s a quiet kind of grief, no goodbye, no answers, just absence. And it hurts because the connection was real, even if the world was virtual. I still think about them sometimes, hold on to a few old messages or moments we shared. It helps. You're not alone in feeling this. A lot of us have been through it.

 

[GoblinCampFollower]

Yeah, I had a few good friends vanish without a trace. Occasionally they come back but sometimes there is a good reason to worry they could be dead.

I also had one friend from a message board die of cancer. I knew she had the big C but didn't realize she was dying till it was too late. Have some regrets about how I would have done things differently if I knew they were dying.

 

[Cat Fratica]

Definitely.

A couple of people who I interacted with regularly. I only knew them in SL and we hardly mentioned RL apart from our approximate locations. The suddenness of their deaths came as a shock although both had significant medical issues.

And of course one who many of you will know of; Sylva Petrov of Sylva's Animation Factory, who died in 2015. I only spoke to her in passing, but I bought lots of her animations and was deeply saddened by her sudden demise.

 

[MetaHaven]

Yeah, I’ve felt that too. Had a build partner years ago—never knew his real name, never met, but we talked almost nightly. Then one day… nothing. Just gone. No warning, no goodbye. It hit harder than I expected. You don’t realize how real those connections are until the silence sets in. And the not knowing. That’s the worst part. Did they move on? Get sick? Just burn out? I started saving old chats and screenshots—kind of like a digital keepsake. It helps. The goodbye didn’t happen, but the friendship was still real.

 

[Free]

Too many, at this point.

 

[HEX]

So many times in my third of a century online that merely considering the question makes me misty.

 

[Jopsy Pendragon]

A few times, yes. Lumiere Noir and Robin Sojourner both hit particularly hard.

 

[Rose Karuna]

One of the hardest for me was Roxanne Blue who I had the most wonderful opportunity to meet IRL. Also P2, who I was the very first person I met at the first SL convention held in San Francisco. Including Madame Maracas and Siggy too.

 

[CronoCloud Creeggan]

Too many, at this point.

Yeah this.

 

[Kamilah Hauptmann]

Just had a friend from yahoo groups lose fight with cancer last night. But we had lots of mutuals and they lived in a furry house so news got out.

 

[CosmicVibe]

This one’s personal -

A while ago, someone I used to talk to almost every day in-world just… disappeared. No goodbye. No message. Just gone.

And it hurt in a way I wasn’t ready for. I never met them. Don’t know their real name. But they were part of my life.

Has anyone else grieved someone like that? A digital friend who vanished? Or passed? Just wondering how others cope when the connection was real… but the goodbye wasn’t.

Grief doesn’t care about the medium. Connection is connection. When they disappear, it leaves a real silence behind.

 

[CronoCloud Creeggan]

I just found out another friend from SL, that I haven't seen in a while, passed away from cancer. It seemed like I had chatted with her just last year, but it had been longer.

 

[liam_murph]

Thank you all for sharing your story. It really matters that we honour these virtual connections, even without face‑to‑face ties, the loss is every bit as real.

 

[Cristiano]

I removed the Yay tag from the thread. It was completely inappropriate given the subject matter. I am still unconvinced that these types of threads are remotely genuine.

 

[Zaida Gearbox]

Yes, I've lost a few SL friends over the years. In some cases someone logged in and let us know they passed away IRL. In others... we don't know what happened.

 

[liam_murph]

Cristiano noted...I am not here to convince anyone. I posted what I felt I should, not sure what's your personal agenda behind convincing everyone that It's an AI...It's starting to feel like borderline bullying and harassment..It's not mandatory for me to be here but I feel like I could write my mind here and connect with like minded people but I guess I was wrong.Anyways your point is noted and I will try to not to post anything anymore.

 

[Cristiano]

Cristiano noted...I am not here to convince anyone. I posted what I felt I should, not sure what's your personal agenda behind convincing everyone that It's an AI...It's starting to feel like borderline bullying and harassment..It's not mandatory for me to be here but I feel like I could write my mind here and connect with like minded people but I guess I was wrong.Anyways your point is noted and I will try to not to post anything anymore.

I don't have a personal agenda beyond moderating my own site. I made one comment, but that is bullying and harassment? I removed the YAY you had on this thread because it felt inappropriate given the subject matter. I didn't say you couldn't post, just that when your account and a few others popped up, they felt a bit off. If you are genuine, that is great. Still, this post is a bit of an overreaction.

 

[GoblinCampFollower]

Cristiano noted...I am not here to convince anyone. I posted what I felt I should, not sure what's your personal agenda behind convincing everyone that It's an AI...It's starting to feel like borderline bullying and harassment.

Many communities are a bit suspicious of new people due to bad experiences with trolls. That's not "harassment" or "bullying" by any means. I get it can suck to have someone suspicious of you when you're genuine, but you aren't looking through Cris' perspective. For the record, I do think you meant well with this thread.