Things you can say about a pet you shouldn't say about a friend

[Free]

She's in heat.

 

[Beebo Brink]

Just lock him in the bathroom.

 

[Grandma Bates]

It would be so much easier to keep him clean if we just shaved his ass.

 

[Beebo Brink]

She's been eating birdseed again. Just look at her poop.

 

[Free]

Scratch him behind the leg, he loves that.

 

[Pancake]

I spent 20 minutes brushing her teeth last night.

 

[Maggy Hazelnut]

He really needs his anal glands cleaned. He smells terrible!

 

[Jolene Benoir]

We're going to have to neuter him.

 

[Stora]

She likes to roll on her back while I tickle her belly.

 

[Beebo Brink]

What exactly is he going to do with that car... if he catches it?

 

[Isabeau]

She's getting old but when she can't hold it in, she's good about using the newspaper we lay out for her.

 

[Veritable Quandry]

I don't normally take in strays, but she was just so sad under the porch.

 

[Romana]

He likes to attack my toes.

 

[eku zhong]

sheesh what a crusty butt.

 

[Jolene Benoir]

We've got to stop him from humping visitor's legs. In tandem, she always gets so excited when we have visitors that she pees a little (had a dog that did that).

 

[Clara D.]

About time to get him neutered.

 

[Argent Stonecutter]

It's so cute the way he grooms my beard.

 

[Free]

He just got in a fight with a skunk. Try putting him under the hose before letting him in.

 

[Isabeau]

He just got in a fight with a skunk. Try putting him under the hose before letting him in.

I would say that about a friend.

 

[Katheryne Helendale]

Her breath smells like cat food.