The Make us Laugh Challenge Thread

[Sid]

 

[Romana]

Woman previously charged with trespassing at CIA, asking for ‘Agent Penis’ arrested once again

One does not simply get a meeting with Agent Penis.

www.militarytimes.com

 

[Free]

Woman previously charged with trespassing at CIA, asking for ‘Agent Penis’ arrested once again

One does not simply get a meeting with Agent Penis.

www.militarytimes.com

His last mission was a real cock-up.

 

[Free]

 

[Sid]

 

[Free]

 

[Katheryne Helendale]

An Irish woman of old age visited her physician to ask his advice
on reviving her husband's libido.

"What about trying Viagra?" asked the doctor.

"Not a chance", she said. "He won't even take an aspirin."

"Not a problem," replied the doctor. "Give him an 'Irish Viagra'".

"What is an Irish Viagra?", she asked.

"It's when you drop the Viagra tablet into his coffee. He won't even
taste it. Give it a try and call me in a week to let me know how things went."

It was a week later when she called the doctor, who directly inquired as to
her progress. The poor woman exclaimed, "Oh, it was horrid! Just terrible, doctor!"

"Really? What happened?" asked the doctor.

"Well, I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee and the effect was almost
immediate. He jumped straight up, with a smile on his face and a twinkle in his
eye. With one swoop of his arms, he ripped my clothes to tatters and took me
then and there passionately on the tabletop! T'was a nightmare, I tell you! An
absolute nightmare!"

"Why so terrible?" asked the doctor. "Do you mean the sex your husband provided
wasn't good?"

"It was the best sex I've had in 25 years! But sure as I'm sittin' here, I'll never be able
to show me face in Starbucks again."

 

[Free]

 

[Cristiano]

 

[Free]

 

[Katheryne Helendale]

How many dead bodies does it take to change a light bulb?

Well, it's not six, since my basement light is still out.

 

[Kamilah Hauptmann]

How many dead bodies does it take to change a light bulb?

Well, it's not six, since my basement light is still out.

 

[Free]

 

[Tigar]

that‘s pretty much how I got my son.

best accident we ever had.

 

[Free]

 

[Katheryne Helendale]

Plus, the law doesn't state that the other required passengers have to be alive.

 

[Sid]

 

[Caete]

I saw my ex and her new girlfriend crossing the street when a bus ran them over and killed them both. I thought to myself, wow that could've been me. ...then I remembered, I cant drive a bus.

 

[Katheryne Helendale]

Two cowboys were lost in the desert and were starving hungry. After wandering around for several hours, they see a tree in the distance draped in bacon.

"Look!" said one cowboy, pointing to the tree. "It's a bacon tree! We're saved!"

He runs to the tree, but is suddenly shot down in a hail of bullets.

With his last dying breath, he says, "it's not a bacon tree. It's a ham bush!"

 

[Katheryne Helendale]

Looks like ol' Bessie has been in the jalapeno field again!