The Make us Laugh Challenge Thread

Khamon

Khamon

Folk Harpist
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Sep 23, 2018
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Alabama
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2003
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2007
Yes but it must be much longer for the advertising check to engage. She should describe the bread in great detail while waving her hands around the package; then explain how she bends her wrist to pick up her phone the way she does because reasons; then walk over to the window while trying to determine who has called her and pretend to not be able to hear them well enough to know what they're saying for four or five minutes; and finally begin the routine of looking around and down for the "ZOMG wait for the end" reveal. That's how you make the monies right?
 
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Caete

Caete

Scientist Lady of Science
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20 Minutes into the future
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2006
A woman brought a very limp duck into a vet. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird’s chest.
After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Fluffy, has passed away."
The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied Dr. Peterson.
"How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean, you haven’t done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."
Dr. Peterson rolled his eyes, turned around, and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever named Shadow. As the duck’s owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table, and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.
The vet patted Shadow on the head and took him out of the room. A few minutes later, he returned with a cat named Mittens. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. Mittens sat back on her haunches, shook her head, meowed softly, and strolled out of the room.
Dr. Peterson looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."
He turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys, and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.
The duck’s owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" she cried. "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead?!"
The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20. But with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it’s now $150."
 
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Innula Zenovka

Innula Zenovka

Nasty Brit
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substack.com

Ian Compton (@iancompton)

Somebody did a good job adding the horse’s thoughts to this video. Very skittish horse, like over the top. Edit: and here’s another one that people have mentioned in the comments https://substack.com/@iancompton/note/c-198748266?r=606zsa&utm_medium=ios&utm_source=notes-share-action
substack.com substack.com
 
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