LOL! Tell Us a Joke!!

Kalel

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I want Funny! I want a thread full of your favorite Puns., Dad Jokes, Jokes of the day... The Good, The Bad, The Awful, the cringey... MAKE US LAUGH!!


i'll Start.


Why did the Transman only eat Salad?


He said he was a Her-before.:rimshot:
 
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Holy smokes! Out of all the jokes that aren't funny, I thought these two especially are. Just a few days ago I saw Kalel's joke on reddit and told it to my friend. She didn't laugh. Oh well. There are a whole bunch of chicken and the egg cartoons but that is the only one that does it just right. I went on a long search for that drawing once.
 
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Oh why not.

An atom walked into a bar. He was so sad. The bartender asked him why? The atom said he had lost an electron. The bartender said are you sure? He said yes, I'm positive.

A neutron walked into a bar. He asked how much for a drink? The bartender said for you, no charge.

What do you get when you cross a mosquito and a mountain climber? Nothing. You can't cross a vector and a scalar.
 

Ghost Pepper

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A man took his wife to a strip club.

When they got to the door the bouncer says, "Hi Tom."

The wife asks him, "Where do you know him from?" "We play Basketball sometimes," the man replies.

They then go to the bar to get some drinks and the bartender says, "Howdy Tom. What do you want to drink?"

She asks, "Where do you know him from?" He replies, "We play darts at the pub."

They go towards the stage and one of strippers walking the floor asks him, "Hi Tom. Do you want the usual?" The wife then gets mad and goes out the door and he follows.

When outside she hails a cab and when they get into the taxi the drivers says, "Hi Tommy. I see that this time you picked up an ugly one."
 

Kalel

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What sound does a 747 plane make when it bounces?

Boeing Boeing Boeing


Yes i know that joke landed.

it was just plane funny.

no i was not winging it.
 
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The Texan, Californian, And Oregonian

A Texan, a Californian, and Oregonian are out riding horses. The
Texan pulls out an expensive bottle of whiskey, takes a long
draught, then another and suddenly throws it into the air, pulls
out his gun and shoots the bottle in midair.

The Californian looks at him and says, "What are you doing? That
was a perfectly good bottle of whiskey!"

The Texan says, "In Texas, there is plenty of whiskey and the
bottles are cheap."

A while later, not wanting to be outdone, the Californian pulls
out a bottle of champagne, takes a few sips, throws the champagne
into the air, pulls out his gun and shoots it in midair.

The Oregonian can't believe his eyes, "What the heck did you do
that for? That was a perfectly good bottle of champagne!"

The Californian says, "In California, we have plenty of champagne
and bottles are cheap."

So, awhile later, the Oregonian pulls out a bottle of Widmer
Hefeweizen. He opens it, takes a sip, and then chugs the whole
bottle. He then puts the bottle in his saddlebag, pulls out his
gun, and shoots the Californian.

The Texan, shocked, says, "Why the hell did you do that?!"

The Oregonian replies, "In Oregon, we have plenty of Californians
and the bottles are worth a nickel."
 

Kalel

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Now I need a flying cow reaction. Is there no end to the reactions we need!?
How do you count cows?
they use a Cowculator! 🔢

Why do cows have hooves and not feet?
Because they Lactose🥛🐾

What do you call a sleeping cow?
A bull Dozer.🐂💤
 

Khamon

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Well heck, now I miss Lynn Lippmann, so we need a toe reaction. What will people do with a toe reaction? One shudders to think.
 
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Well heck, now I miss Lynn Lippmann, so we need a toe reaction. What will people do with a toe reaction? One shudders to think.
Don't we need 2? A toe up, and toe down?
 
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Katheryne Helendale

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I got toe up once. Never drinking Boone's Farm again.
 
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Kalel

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A man sees an attractive woman on the side of the road. He stops to ask if she needs any help.
The woman says, "Yes, my car has broken down and I don't know what's wrong with it."
The man says, "Don't worry; I'll get you and your car to a mechanic in town. Have you ever been towed before?"
And the woman says, "No, but I've been fingered a couple of times."


How do feet pay for things?
with Crypt-toe currency

What's the hardest part about making a manicure joke?
You really have to nail them.

nail jokes are difficult... but they started to grow on me.