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std::string str ("Nobody cares about development...");
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Clara D.
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Clara D.
Coffee Squirrel is judging you.
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Jopsy Pendragon
Defund & Defenestrate Nazi/NatCs!
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In college I was dabbling with some code and accidentally declared something vaguely like:
extern const void string *blerfle;
I got an error complaining about "Wasted Space". Which sent me into a total gigglefit as I imagined the vacuum of space sucking on a big cosmic bong and laconically mumbling "Hey man, this code man... it's totally surreal!"
I myself was high on nothing more than extreme amounts of caffeine and having been awake for more than 24 hours straight at the time...
extern const void string *blerfle;
I got an error complaining about "Wasted Space". Which sent me into a total gigglefit as I imagined the vacuum of space sucking on a big cosmic bong and laconically mumbling "Hey man, this code man... it's totally surreal!"
I myself was high on nothing more than extreme amounts of caffeine and having been awake for more than 24 hours straight at the time...
Chalice Yao
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The Coding Love - Programmer humor: gifs, memes, jokes
The Coding Love - Programmer humor: gifs, memes, jokes
thecodinglove.com
For all your animated coding truths.
Last edited:
Bartholomew Gallacher
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Great site: "How to program 99 bottles of beer" in over 1500 different programming languages.
Today: Brainfuck! The design goal of Brainfuck was to write the smallest possible interpreter/compiler, and it was successful - most compilers are 200 bytes and less, one less than 100 bytes. Interpreters are also around. The language itself is by the way Turing complete.
Today: Brainfuck! The design goal of Brainfuck was to write the smallest possible interpreter/compiler, and it was successful - most compilers are 200 bytes and less, one less than 100 bytes. Interpreters are also around. The language itself is by the way Turing complete.
Code:
+>+++++++[>>>+++
+++++<<<<+++++
+++>-]+++++++++>>>
+>>++++++++++[>+
+++++++++<-]>[
>>+>+>+>+>+>+>
+>>+>+>>+>+>+>
+>>+>+>>+>+>+>
>+>+>+>+>>>>>+
>+>+>+>>+>+>+>
>+>+>+>+>>+>+>
+>>+>+>+>+>>+>+>
>+>+>+>+>+>+>>>>
+>+>>+>+>+>+<<<<
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
-]<++++[>++++++++<
-]>[>+>>>>>>>>+>>>
+>>>>>+>>>+>>>>+>>
>>>+>+>>+>>>>>+>>>>+
>>>>>+>>>>+>>>>>+>>>
+>>>>>>>+>+>+>>>+>>>
>>+<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<-]+++++[
>>>++>+++>+++>++>>+++>>++>
>>>>>+++>>++>++>>+++>+>>>+++
+>->++>++>++>+++>++>>--->->+>>>+
+>++>>>>++>++++>++>>->++>>>++>->++
+>+++>>+>+++>>>+++>++>+++>++>>>++>>++>
++>>++>++>+++<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
<<<<-]>>-->+>+>+>-->+>>>+>++>>-->+>+>->>+>>>
+>->+>>->++>-->-->++>->>>->++>++>+>>+>>+>>>+
>->>>++>>>>++>++>>>>>+>>++>->+>++>>>>+++>>>+>>
->+>->+<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<[>>>>++
++++++++[->[-]+>[-]<<[<<<<<.>>>>.>>>>.>.>.>.>.>.
>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>>
>.<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<.>>>>.>
>>>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
.>.>>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.
>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
<<<<.>>>>-.>>>>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.
>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>>.>..<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
<<<<<<<<<<<<-]>[<<<<<->[-]+>[-]<<[<.>>>>.>>>>.>.
>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.
>.>.>.>>>.<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
<.>>>>.>>>>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>.>.>>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.
>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
<<<<<<<<<<<<-.>>>>+++++++++.>>>>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>
.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>>.>..<<<
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<-]>[<<.>>>>.>>>
>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.
>.>.>.>.>.>>>.<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
<<<<<.>>>>.>>>>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>.>.>>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.
>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.<<<<<<<<<<
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
<<<<<<<<<<<<+++++++++.>>>>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>
.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>>.>..<<<<<<<<<
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<->]<<+>>>>>->]<<]<<<<
-]>>>>++++++++[->[-]+>[-]<<[<.>>>>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>
.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>>>.<
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<.>>>>.>.>.>.>.
>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>>>>>>>>>>>>>>.>.>>.>.>.>.
>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.
>.>.>.>.>.>.>.<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<-.>>>>.>.>.>
.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>
.>>.>..<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<-]>[<<.>>
>>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>
.>.>.>.>.>.>>>.<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
<<.>>>>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>.>.>>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.
>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
<<<<-.>>>>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.
>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>>.>..<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
<<<<<<->]<<]<.>>>>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.
>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>>>.<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<.>>>>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>>.>.>.>.>.>.
>.>.>>>>>>>>>>>>>>.>.>>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.
>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.
>.>.>.>.>.<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<.>.>.>.>.>.>.
>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>>.>
Last edited:
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Ashiri
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It's the javascript one that really freaks me out. Brainfuck is supposed to be obscure.
Bartholomew Gallacher
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You can obfuscate any language if you want to do, and the author of the Javascript example wanted to just do that.
Ashiri
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While that is true, some languages are scarier than others due to the way they are processed.
Bartholomew Gallacher
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Right - and some esoteric languages are quite elaborate, like Shakespear.
Code:
The Infamous Hello World Program.
Romeo, a young man with a remarkable patience.
Juliet, a likewise young woman of remarkable grace.
Ophelia, a remarkable woman much in dispute with Hamlet.
Hamlet, the flatterer of Andersen Insulting A/S.
Act I: Hamlet's insults and flattery.
Scene I: The insulting of Romeo.
[Enter Hamlet and Romeo]
Hamlet:
You lying stupid fatherless big smelly half-witted coward!
You are as stupid as the difference between a handsome rich brave
hero and thyself! Speak your mind!
You are as brave as the sum of your fat little stuffed misused dusty
old rotten codpiece and a beautiful fair warm peaceful sunny summer's
day. You are as healthy as the difference between the sum of the
sweetest reddest rose and my father and yourself! Speak your mind!
You are as cowardly as the sum of yourself and the difference
between a big mighty proud kingdom and a horse. Speak your mind.
Speak your mind!
[Exit Romeo]
Scene II: The praising of Juliet.
[Enter Juliet]
Hamlet:
Thou art as sweet as the sum of the sum of Romeo and his horse and his
black cat! Speak thy mind!
[Exit Juliet]
Scene III: The praising of Ophelia.
[Enter Ophelia]
Hamlet:
Thou art as lovely as the product of a large rural town and my amazing
bottomless embroidered purse. Speak thy mind!
Thou art as loving as the product of the bluest clearest sweetest sky
and the sum of a squirrel and a white horse. Thou art as beautiful as
the difference between Juliet and thyself. Speak thy mind!
[Exeunt Ophelia and Hamlet]
Act II: Behind Hamlet's back.
Scene I: Romeo and Juliet's conversation.
[Enter Romeo and Juliet]
Romeo:
Speak your mind. You are as worried as the sum of yourself and the
difference between my small smooth hamster and my nose. Speak your
mind!
Juliet:
Speak YOUR mind! You are as bad as Hamlet! You are as small as the
difference between the square of the difference between my little pony
and your big hairy hound and the cube of your sorry little
codpiece. Speak your mind!
[Exit Romeo]
Scene II: Juliet and Ophelia's conversation.
[Enter Ophelia]
Juliet:
Thou art as good as the quotient between Romeo and the sum of a small
furry animal and a leech. Speak your mind!
Ophelia:
Thou art as disgusting as the quotient between Romeo and twice the
difference between a mistletoe and an oozing infected blister! Speak
your mind!
[Exeunt]
Argent Stonecutter
Emergency Mustelid Hologram
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using std::string;
using std::literals::string_literals:: operator""s;
auto str = "Nobody cares about development..."s;
using std::literals::string_literals:: operator""s;
auto str = "Nobody cares about development..."s;
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Argent Stonecutter
Emergency Mustelid Hologram
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Noodles
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I have basically been building an entire custom CMS framework in PHP with some jquery with an MSSQL backend for internal use at work and I feel like one day some higher up is going to just shitcan everything for something else new before its finished and its a little frustrating that In have put a ton of work into this and it works pretty slick and looks nice but it may never get used.
Its being built to replace our current Cold Fusion based site.
Its being built to replace our current Cold Fusion based site.
Argent Stonecutter
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Condolences.
Can I do one?
This was back in the early '80s. I was writing the compiler/interpreter for a real-time control language based on relay logic (it was really tough to get real time customers to accept anything more modern than WWII), and the other guy (project leader) was writing the actual real-time control stuff. Since this was in Forth I wrote a recursive descent parser and the other guy went ballistic and insisted it should be a proper testable LALR(1) parser and came up with a scheme that the parser should be written in YACC and then the resulting C tables and parsing engine would be converted to Forth to run on the target hardware which had like 12k of RAM and ran raw Forth with a Forth scheduler and Forth file system and Forth memory management and so on, it didn't even have malloc(), and had me start from scratch to write the real-time-control part and spent a year on his mad science "testable LALR(1) parser", or maybe it was "provable", ... anyway ...
I had already completed the parser AND interpreter and had it handing off events properly and everything in about six weeks and thought we were almost ready to ship, and then the whole thing spent a year in a death march before being killed.
He also wanted to rewrite "vi" because it didn't let him define word delimiters or something.
Can I do one?
This was back in the early '80s. I was writing the compiler/interpreter for a real-time control language based on relay logic (it was really tough to get real time customers to accept anything more modern than WWII), and the other guy (project leader) was writing the actual real-time control stuff. Since this was in Forth I wrote a recursive descent parser and the other guy went ballistic and insisted it should be a proper testable LALR(1) parser and came up with a scheme that the parser should be written in YACC and then the resulting C tables and parsing engine would be converted to Forth to run on the target hardware which had like 12k of RAM and ran raw Forth with a Forth scheduler and Forth file system and Forth memory management and so on, it didn't even have malloc(), and had me start from scratch to write the real-time-control part and spent a year on his mad science "testable LALR(1) parser", or maybe it was "provable", ... anyway ...
I had already completed the parser AND interpreter and had it handing off events properly and everything in about six weeks and thought we were almost ready to ship, and then the whole thing spent a year in a death march before being killed.
He also wanted to rewrite "vi" because it didn't let him define word delimiters or something.
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If you run that obfuscated javascript through a deobfuscator after removing the html at the top and bottom it comes out pretty clean.
Jopsy Pendragon
Defund & Defenestrate Nazi/NatCs!
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I've dabbled in some weird languages, APL, PL6, SNOBOL, ADA ... but my worst project was subcontracting to re-writing a pawn shop inventory/point-of-sale system for a shady contractor. I dunno what version of BASIC it was written in, but it couldn't handle IF/THEN/ELSEIF/ELSE/ENDIF. It had IF (value) GOTO (linenumber).
The code was obtuse. Deliberately I found out later because it was doing criminal things like "Hiding" inventory that customers had defaulted on so the pawn shop owner wouldn't have to pay taxes on them as assets. The contractor flipped his lid when he saw that my re-write detangled his illegal crap and clearly stated exactly what it was doing. He refused to pay me because he 'objected to my use of if/then/else' statements in the re-write and demanded I do it over again using his "standard" on/val/goto crap.
I was hourly and cheap at the time, and he stiffed me on half of what I was owed. I couldn't afford a lawyer at the time, and was honestly just happy to be free of that job. The pawn shop owner went to prison for dealing in illegal Indian relics, I dunno what happened to the contractor though. Died alone and miserable likely, he was ripping off the few customers he had when I left him.
The code was obtuse. Deliberately I found out later because it was doing criminal things like "Hiding" inventory that customers had defaulted on so the pawn shop owner wouldn't have to pay taxes on them as assets. The contractor flipped his lid when he saw that my re-write detangled his illegal crap and clearly stated exactly what it was doing. He refused to pay me because he 'objected to my use of if/then/else' statements in the re-write and demanded I do it over again using his "standard" on/val/goto crap.
I was hourly and cheap at the time, and he stiffed me on half of what I was owed. I couldn't afford a lawyer at the time, and was honestly just happy to be free of that job. The pawn shop owner went to prison for dealing in illegal Indian relics, I dunno what happened to the contractor though. Died alone and miserable likely, he was ripping off the few customers he had when I left him.