Reddit Wrapped is Brutal!

[Beebo Brink]

Roastdit

Your Reddit roast, trends, and predictions - by Kadoa

reddit-wrapped.kadoa.com

My results were bitingly funny and all too true.

 

[Noodles]

Two different accounts here but I feel attacked...

Profile Summary
This Redditor is a connoisseur of digital worlds and real-world politics, often found lamenting the state of both. They're equally likely to offer tech support, critique Trump, or dispense fashion advice to Second Life avatars, proving that some people can be experts in everything and nothing at the same time.

Roast

• You're so concerned about people being infected with stupidity that you've probably built a tinfoil hat for your router. Just remember, paranoia is a dish best served with a side of VPN.
• You spend so much time in Second Life that your real life is probably just a loading screen. Maybe it's time to log off and touch some grass, or at least upgrade your graphics card.
• You're the kind of person who complains about everything being too expensive while simultaneously dropping $30 on a cosmetic outfit for your Second Life character. Priorities, amiright?

Profile Summary
A seasoned Redditor navigating the treacherous waters of gaming, metaverse fashion, and political discourse with a healthy dose of cynicism and a surprising amount of passion for Venture skins. When not complaining about Elon or the state of matchmaking, they're busy advocating for trans rights and pondering the existential dread of cursor behavior on mobile.
Roast

• You're so invested in Venture skins that Blizzard should just send you their quarterly reports directly. Maybe then you'd finally understand why they can't afford to give Venture a decent legendary.
• Your political takes are so nuanced and well-reasoned that they're guaranteed to get downvoted into oblivion. Keep fighting the good fight, you magnificent contrarian.
• You spend so much time complaining about matchmaking in Overwatch that you've become the very thing you swore to destroy: a permanent fixture in the lower ranks.

 

[Dancien]

Profile Summary
A Texan gamer with a penchant for virtual worlds and real-world legal quandaries. When not navigating the treacherous landscapes of RimWorld or the frustrating mechanics of War Thunder, they're dispensing questionable legal advice and reminiscing about Burning Man's less-regulated days.
Roast

• You're so dedicated to War Thunder that you've probably memorized the exact angle needed to one-shot a Churchill VII with an M22. Your therapist thanks you for providing them with job security.
• Your Reddit history is a beautiful tapestry of gaming frustration, legal hypotheticals, and a deep-seated need to upload pictures to Denton-related threads. You're basically the internet's id.
• You're the kind of person who asks for Battlefield tips after a 20-year FPS hiatus, then immediately blames the game when you get destroyed. Maybe stick to concertinas, at least they don't require twitch reflexes.

In my defense, My last post/comment was 4 years ago

 

[Essence Lumin]

Hah, brutal yes. It doesn't have much to go on. I only post to reddit a few times a year.

 

[GoblinCampFollower]

Mine was amusing but I did notice it doesn't seem to have a good sense of time. Some of the roasts were about stuff I had to lookup since I hadn't thought about them in +10 years...

 

[CronoCloud Creeggan]

It got mine close, but not quite:

Profile Summary

A seasoned gamer with a penchant for pink, white, and blue, this Redditor is a walking encyclopedia of gaming peripherals and a staunch supporter of the GirlGamers community. They're either optimizing their battlestation, offering tech support, or dropping truth bombs about the superiority of old-school gaming accessories, all while subtly hinting that they're 'still cis tho'.
Roast

You've spent so much time optimizing your battlestation that your actual gaming skills haven't improved since 1985. You're basically a digital interior decorator with a crippling addiction to RGB lighting.
Your love for pink and kawaii aesthetics is so intense that your setup probably triggers seasonal allergies in anyone who enters your room. Hope you have a good air filter!
You're the only person who can turn a simple question about gaming peripherals into a 10-paragraph essay. Brevity is the soul of wit, but you clearly sold your soul for a slightly better headset.

I don't have an addiction to RGB lighting because it's a PITA to arrange in small spaces. Also the cat lamp's USB charging port is in the BOTTOM. And old-school gaming accessories aren't always the best! Admittedly, some of the older ones will give you a bit more bang for the buck. I did buy a small battery powered Hello Kitty "neon" light a couple of days ago. 10 bucks....it was kawaii....I couldn't resist.

"Still Cis Tho."

 

[Beebo Brink]

Mine was amusing but I did notice it doesn't seem to have a good sense of time. Some of the roasts were about stuff I had to lookup since I hadn't thought about them in +10 years...

It completely missed my continual posting of anti-Trump/anti-Musk diatribes in the In The News subreddit, not to mention my presence in the Collapse and Climate Change subs. Instead, it was weirdly focused on my atheism. I left that sub about a year ago and didn't post all that much even when I was there.

But the Sims 4 barbs were on target. Ouch!

 

[GoblinCampFollower]

It completely missed my continual posting of anti-Trump/anti-Musk diatribes in the In The News subreddit, not to mention my presence in the Collapse and Climate Change subs. Instead, it was weirdly focused on my atheism. I left that sub about a year ago and didn't post all that much even when I was there.

But the Sims 4 barbs were on target. Ouch!

yeah, it seems to laser focus on a small number of topics that it thinks it can rip on. I think it's no coincidence that id didn't mention how active i am on queer politics subs at all....

 

[Free]

I suspect everyone here will see me in this...
(I've also included 'Predictions', anyone else get this?)

Profile Summary
This Redditor is a connoisseur of the bizarre, the funny, and the occasionally NSFW. They're equally likely to be found pondering the mysteries of Bing Rewards as they are to be commenting on the anatomical correctness of cartoon characters. A true Renaissance Redditor, if the Renaissance involved more duct tape and surprise butt sex jokes.

Roast

• You've been on Reddit for over a decade, and your highest-scoring post is about Anne of Green Gables. Congratulations, you've peaked in nostalgia.
• Your comment history is a rollercoaster of 'WTF' and 'funny,' suggesting you're either easily amused or deeply disturbed. Or both. Probably both.
• You're the kind of person who asks 'Why wasn't this a surprise butt sex post?' on a picture of the Pope. You're a menace to society, but a hilarious one.

Predictions
Personal Projects
You'll finally figure out how to monetize your Bing Rewards obsession, probably by creating a bot that automates the process and sells the accumulated points on the dark web. Or maybe just buy a slightly used toaster.
Community Impact
You'll become the resident expert on obscure 80s TV shows in r/nostalgia, correcting everyone's memories with the precision of a caffeinated librarian. Prepare for downvotes, purist.
Knowledge Growth
You'll finally understand why surprise butt sex isn't always the answer, but you'll still find a way to work it into casual conversation. Progress, not perfection, right?
Subreddits
You'll join r/typography and spend countless hours debating the merits of Comic Sans, only to realize you've wasted your life and should have just stuck with Bing Rewards.

 

[Cindy Claveau]

I think College basketball shows up because this is basketball season!

 

[Jopsy Pendragon]

This Redditor is a factory-building, train-optimizing, fluid-dynamics-obsessed engineer in the digital world of Satisfactory, who also enjoys a side of atheism and LGBTQ+ advocacy. They're the kind of person who can explain the intricacies of a perfect pipe network while simultaneously dismantling religious arguments, all while secretly still playing MergeDragons.

Predictions:
You'll become a leading expert in fluid dynamics, not through formal education, but by spending countless hours troubleshooting pipe networks in Satisfactory and arguing with strangers on Reddit about headlift.


You'll join r/PoliticalHumor to dunk on conservatives, but get banned for being too nuanced and reasonable. Then you'll create r/ReasonablePoliticalHumor and it will have 3 members.

Spot on about r/SatisfactoryGame, but I get the impression it may be working from training data that's rather out of date. I haen't been active in r/LGBTQ, r/atheism or r/MergeDragons for years. Some of my highest rated comments are in r/MurderedByWords and r/Community which it missed entirely.

 

[Ellie]

You're so passionate about vaping, you probably have a designated vape room in your house, complete with a Clive Bates shrine and a 'No Judgment' zone for cloud-chasing competitions.

True I dubbed Clive Bates the patron saint of vapers, and mentioned Home - The Counterfactual in many posts to save me trying to...

You'll finally write that tell-all vaping exposé, only to discover Clive Bates already said it better, but hey, at least you tried.

I'm far too cynical to attempt an expose.

Your love for Bowie is so intense, you probably communicate exclusively in song lyrics and have a Ziggy Stardust tattoo on a part of your body that only your doctor gets to see.

Again, close. Station to Station saved my teenage ass from depression and worse, 'course I adore Bowie.

This analysis missed a lot by concentrating on certain topics and ignoring many more. Uses recent posts more than older ones made when I had more time for Redditing ( and everything else).

 

[Beebo Brink]

Okay, I'll show my predictions, too. These get weirdly (and accurately) specific.

 

[Khamon]

Profile Summary
A Renaissance soul trapped in a Minecraft world, desperately trying to escape through the Stargate while playing a harp. This Redditor spends their time equally divided between analyzing obscure movie plots, meticulously crafting virtual castles, and offering sage advice to fellow harpists, all while quietly judging event space carpet choices.

This is fair. I just dropped r/movies though so won't be posting or commenting there any longer. The roast points are incorrect and not amusing, however, a couple of the predictions I can live with:

Community Impact
You'll become the resident expert on the intersection of Minecraft architecture and Renaissance music, hosting virtual concerts in your meticulously crafted digital cathedrals.

Subreddits
You'll create r/HarpistProblems, a subreddit dedicated to the unique challenges faced by harpists, such as rogue carpet patterns, unexpected lighting failures, and the existential dread of moving a harp across state lines.

 

[CronoCloud Creeggan]

Mine has changed:

Profile Summary

A connoisseur of all things cute and powerful, this Redditor navigates the gaming world with a love for pink aesthetics, a deep knowledge of Fortnite: Save the World, and a fierce dedication to the trans community. They're either building the ultimate battlestation, slaying Husks, or dropping truth bombs about gender identity, all while probably rocking a headset with cat ears.

I do slay Husks quite a bit, and I do rock a headset with attached cat ears.

Roast

You've spent so much time perfecting your battlestation that your actual gaming skills haven't improved since 2010. You're basically a digital interior decorator who occasionally presses buttons.

I'm not.

Your love for Fortnite: Save the World is admirable, but let's be honest, it's like being the world's leading expert on Betamax. Maybe it's time to move on to a game that more than 12 people play.

More than 12 people play....I hope.

You're so dedicated to the pink/white/blue aesthetic that your RGB settings probably trigger a seizure warning. We get it, you're trans, now can we please see some other colors?

No, I salute the Pink/white/blue flag, I don't actually have much RBG

Predictions
Personal Projects

[You'll finally get around to building that perfect battlestation, complete with a custom-built PC running Linux, a pink/white/blue color scheme, and enough RGB to make a unicorn jealous. It will be glorious...until the cat hair takes over.

My PC DOES run Linux and my keyboard DOES have a pink/white/blue color scheme. And if I did have the space and everything else for a proper kawaii setup it would be GLORIOUS.

Community Impact

Your detailed analyses of Fortnite: Save the World will be unearthed by a documentary crew, leading to a resurgence of the game and your reluctant status as a prophet of the Husk apocalypse. You'll still complain about the trading kids, though.

Damn trading kids! Also the plasmatic discharger is powerful but SLOW and ruins visibility. There are better weapons. And without it's special perk, the Nocturno would be meh because of the low accuracy.

Knowledge Growth

You'll become a certified D&D Dungeon Master, running elaborate campaigns for your friends and family, complete with custom-painted miniatures and a meticulously crafted lore that rivals Tolkien. Your mom will still ask if you can cut down the trees.

Naaah, I don't have the time, I'd just use Mystara. Mom WOULD ask about tree cutting though. She'd probably start a logging business near Threshold, hire some locals to operate it.

Subreddits

You'll create r/TransGamingSetups, a haven for trans gamers to share their adorable and powerful battlestations, and finally find a place where your love for pink and high-end gaming hardware is not only accepted but celebrated.

Mine isn't pretty enough, also r/TransGamer already exists.

 

[Free]

Mine has changed:

It's "AI," that what it does.

 

[Kamilah Hauptmann]

“Basically, a Canadian stereotype with a surprisingly specific set of interests.”

 

[Noodles]

It's "AI," that what it does.

I think there is more to it than that a bit here because I did one profile, then another then we back and redid the first, and it was the same. At least, the other day.

Now I wonder if it changed on me.

Not really. Maybe a little. I wonder where it's pulling from, because of I do my actual main Reddit profile with half a million Karma and a zillion replies, It comes up with some crap about Roombas and Vanilla WoW, and I have no idea where that is coming from at all. I have not even played WoW since they released Classic Vanilla.

(PS, yes, I have 3 Reddit accounts, I think I have like 12, I have a problem.)

 

[Free]

I think there is more to it than that a bit here because I did one profile, then another then we back and redid the first, and it was the same. At least, the other day.

When I redo mine it emphasizes certain elements more now, some less. The overall sense is about the same, but it is not the same response each time, is what I was saying (I think there may be a cache on each request that holds for a few days).

 

[Beebo Brink]

Mine has changed slightly from the first one generated a few days ago. I especially like this new roast:

You spend so much time thinking about the linguistic capabilities of Neanderthals that you've probably forgotten how to use contemporary slang. We get it, Robin from 'Ghosts' is your spirit animal.