Nobody Cares About Your Favourite Sport

Kamilah Hauptmann

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Canadians Reluctantly Agree To Watch Second-Best Football League’s Little Finale

Approximately 20% of all adult Canadians – known the world over for their football prowess, and being the home of the Canadian Football league (which literally has bigger balls) – are expected to tune into the cute little shindig the Americans throw every year. This despite the fact the event takes place in the oddest possible month in which to play an outdoor game that doesn’t involve ice.
 

Kamilah Hauptmann

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Kinda awesome how the halftime show is cut out in Canada and replaced with a Tragically Hip concert.
 

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Iditarod front runner drops out of race after dogs disagree over bathroom break
Nicolas Petit of Girdwood, Alaska, and his 10 dogs were just off the Shaktoolik check point on a stretch of Bering Sea ice when a disagreement between two dogs, a veteran and a younger dog, caused the sled to pause, then completely halt, when Petit raised his voice to discipline the animals.

The 38-year-old's sled earlier in the day left Shaktoolik in the lead "like a rocket," he told local television station KTUU. But then one of his dogs wanted to stop for a bathroom break and an older dog jumped on top of it in disagreement. Petit raised his voice and it spooked the rest of the team, which refused to mush.

"Everybody heard daddy yelling. Which doesn't happen. And then they wouldn't go anymore. Anywhere," he said to KTUU.
Of all the types of "sports" involving animals, sled dog racing is probably the one I have little to no problem with. This guy's dogs were in charge.
 
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Dakota Tebaldi

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Today - well, yesterday - was the 145th running of the Kentucky Derby, and things took an unexpectedly historic turn when the first horse across the finish line, Maximum Security, was disqualified for interfering. At a point during the race Maximum Security, running close to the rail, suddenly began to drift outside in an apparent blocking move, forcing some horses directly adjacent to have to check up and steady, which gave Maximum Security an advantage. It's illegal by the rules, not the least because if one of the checked-up horses failed to steady and had fallen at the front of the pack, it would almost certainly have resulted in mass carnage.

Second across the finish and 65-1 longshot Country House, whose rider had filed the challenge, was given the first place win after a half an hour of deliberation by officials. Country House was not directly impeded by Maximum Security's foul, but that ultimately didn't matter because the foul itself was undeniable.

Full race:


Analysis:

 
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This is the baseball equivalent of having a tornado in your living room.

 
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Kamilah Hauptmann

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Dakota Tebaldi

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Dakota Tebaldi

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Welp, Canada just won its first NBA title!