WTF Mask rage

Kara Spengler

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Interviewers are often very cagey about how they express things out of fear of being accused of discriminating.

Simply put, a potential employee who is reliant on public transportation comes with an automatic excuse to refuse to come in early, off-hours or stay late. An excuse employees with their own mode of transportation don't have.

If flexibility is expected for the position, and you're beholden to transportation schedules you can't control, your could very well demand incentives to compensate for the inconvenience that that flexibility would impose. And that will likely breed resentment among other workers who will demand to be provided the same incentives.

But of course, they can't -say- any of that to you, an interview candidate, not without risk of retaliation. So, likely, they evaded and tried to make the position look less attractive to you than it actually is. All because they're worried you may be a clock-watcher who leaves work at a fixed time whether you're actually done for the day or not.
It was more than 20 years ago but most likely I was asking the receptionist about the bus. Not that it was a deal breaker anyway as they sent me a job offer.
 
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Beebo Brink

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Or have a bad knee and attachments in the lower back.
Or open heart surgery and a damaged lung, with arthritis in the background. I can walk about half a city block before I'm limping heavily and in pain, and I usually end up taking at least one or two days to recover from that. My wife looks perfectly fine but she has MS and although she can physically walk a few blocks, her body stops working for the next week as payback.

All of which is immaterial because there is no bus system in my town. And even if there were, I'm not about to go on public transport in a city where even the poll workers don't wear masks for the local city elections (still steaming about that from this morning).

We must have a car in order to function where we currently live. That's just the way it is.
 

Aribeth Zelin

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Or open heart surgery and a damaged lung, with arthritis in the background. I can walk about half a city block before I'm limping heavily and in pain, and I usually end up taking at least one or two days to recover from that. My wife looks perfectly fine but she has MS and although she can physically walk a few blocks, her body stops working for the next week as payback.

All of which is immaterial because there is no bus system in my town. And even if there were, I'm not about to go on public transport in a city where even the poll workers don't wear masks for the local city elections (still steaming about that from this morning).

We must have a car in order to function where we currently live. That's just the way it is.
I agree too. I can sometimes walk for miles, and then other times, I can't. Usually heat/sun is a bigger factor, but diabetes plays a role too. But really, I've learned that there are a -lot- of invisible ailments, and its best to just assume that's the problem and not a conviction that they could do it if they really wanted.
 

Jopsy Pendragon

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It was more than 20 years ago but most likely I was asking the receptionist about the bus. Not that it was a deal breaker anyway as they sent me a job offer.
Still seems kind of a stretch to get from that to "people used to cars are strange" or "overestimate how much they need their car".

I've never overestimated how much I needed a car to get me from where I could afford to live, to the job which could cover my mortgage. A simple 15-30 minute commute by car... which was $40+ for a taxi or 2-3 hours by mass transit -- each way.

If you asked me where the nearest bus stop to my work place was, I probably would have guessed incorrectly too.
 

Jopsy Pendragon

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I think what kinda set me off was the attitude towards car dependency sounded kind of like how a thin person sounds when opining that overweight people simply overestimate how much they need food. Or like saying that depressed people just overestimate how exhausting/overwhelming/futile/hopeless everything is.

That "it's not a problem for me, it shouldn't be a problem for anyone" attitude suggests that if they were only aware they had a choice, they could be free of the problem. People are generally already aware of that choice. They're unable to make it for reasons that are a lot more complicated, subjective and invisible to someone that doesn't share them.
 

Innula Zenovka

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Why would they make those assumptions about me?
They're not, necessarily.

There's all kinds of reasons the receptionist may have told you that.

She was presumably not used to using that bus stop herself, so if she drove in herself, she may (without realising it) been comparing the walk from the bus with how far away she would expect to park her car -- after all, a five minute walk to and from a bus stop stop is nothing, but most people would try to park a lot nearer than that to their destination if they could. That's just one possibility off the top of my head.

The reason I picked up on this is that I know, because I have to stop myself from doing it sometimes, how easy it is to take one particular incident that, for you, exemplifies a generalisation, and then use it as evidence that the generalisation is accurate.
 
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Shiloh Lyric

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I remember when my daughter was very young, not yet in school. My car broke down, and I looked into taking a bus from my home to my job. It would have involved leaving my house at 5:30 AM, for a job that started at 8, with 4 miles of walking and 2 bus changes, with a wait at the depo in the city for about 30 minutes. In the evening, if I would have had to work even 1 minute past 5:00, which happened frequently, I would have likely missed my way home after work. And I wouldn't have arrived back at home until well after 7 PM. And NONE of that even took into account the babysitter I used for my daughter, who wasn't anywhere near my walk to the bus stop nor the bus route itself. So while maybe I would have handled the extra time, the walk and the sitting at a bus depo by myself in the dark, I had no actual way to get my daughter to the babysitter. Not without leaving my home at 3 AM. Literally.

People who live in bigger cities REALLY don't understand what it can be like, as far as transportation in the rest of the country, where public transportation is limited if non-existent. And while Uber is available in my area, it's at least $20 one way. I would never be able to afford that. It would literally cost me half of my paycheck to get back and forth to work every day.

So, yeah, I'm VERY dependent on my car. I wish I wasn't, but to shop, to work, to LIVE around here...I have no other viable choice.
 

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I remember the days when missing the express bus meant waiting for the milk run and two transfers, getting home an hour later, and the day care charging late fees for every 15 minutes. I still took the bus because parking costs were high but it was always a debate I had with myself. Everyone has a unique set of circumstances, whether those be health related, financial, work hours and shifts, childcare, and even availability.
 
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Kara Spengler

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Here’s a thought. Don’t make blanket statements based solely on your own experiences. What is hard about this?


Kara, your view on this has veered into absurdity.
Well, maybe car people should follow the same recommendation.
 

Aribeth Zelin

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Well, maybe car people should follow the same recommendation.
You do realize no one said 'Oh hey, maybe you just think you can't drive' considering I said -I- can't drive, I know I didn't say any such thing. No one said that WHERE YOU ARE [for emphasis] that you can't get around just fine with a car. No one said word one beyond 'WHERE WE ARE, we need cars, because otherwise its not practical', so I don't know where the everliving fox you are getting this 'maybe car people should follow the same recommendation.'
 

Jopsy Pendragon

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Well, maybe car people should follow the same recommendation.
Some do, and the rest absolutely should.

But not everyone is capable of that degree of empathy, objectivity and emotional intelligence.

It's a constant struggle for me to keep my "works for me!"-ist condemnations and judgements to a minimum. And like an ex-smoker, I generally don't react well when someone starts doing it right in front of me.