Yay! LONG LIVE BIGFOOT

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Trump is president. Bigfoot exists. Aliens built the pyramids. Earth is flat. Why do we continue to deny the truth?
 

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I was thinking about a driving trip North-west-ish, but fears of Bigfoot making an appearance changed that. (Also, potentially, UFOs. Why are they all connected???)
 
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CronoCloud Creeggan

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I was thinking about a driving trip North-west-ish, but fears of Bigfoot making an appearance changed that. (Also, potentially, UFOs. Why are they all connected???)
The crypto-creatures associated with UFO's tend to be stranger looking than the bog-standard hairy hominids. Like with backward feet and such. One book on the paranormal I read mentioned various hypothesis, one of which is that Bigfoot sightings happen when UFO's fly around and mess with space-time, causing temporal rifts and for ancient creatures to appear.

Another was that bigfoots were artificial constructs created by aliens to gather information on the planet.
Or previously abducted hominids from the past.
 
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One book on the paranormal I read mentioned various hypothesis, one of which is that Bigfoot sightings happen when UFO's fly around and mess with space-time, causing temporal rifts and for ancient creatures to appear.
But no ancient dinosaurs, or maybe even ancient humans? Just specifically really tall, ancient homo magnus quadrupes?

Another was that bigfoots were artificial constructs created by aliens to gather information on the planet.
Doesn't seem as smart a plan as just sending lizard people in human disguise.

Or previously abducted hominids from the past.
If I was abducting hominids and sending them to the future, or whatever, I would definitely be selecting the most secretive, stealthiest ones I could find.
 

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But no ancient dinosaurs, or maybe even ancient humans? Just specifically really tall, ancient homo magnus quadrupes?
Doesn't seem as smart a plan as just sending lizard people in human disguise.
If I was abducting hominids and sending them to the future, or whatever, I would definitely be selecting the most secretive, stealthiest ones I could find.
I know!

One other hypothesis was that the temporal rifts didn't actually bring the creatures, just "images" of them.. so that people would see them, but there wouldn't be any physical evidence.

The only semi-plausible hairy hominid types I ever read about in various books about fantastic crypto-creatures were the Almas of the Caucasus. From their descriptions they seemed more like a Neanderthal-modern homo hybrid or erectus-homo hybrid. Which was far more plausible than a bunch of Gigantopithecus running around Washington, Oregon and California.
 

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One other hypothesis was that the temporal rifts didn't actually bring the creatures, just "images" of them.. so that people would see them, but there wouldn't be any physical evidence.
Man, I wish I lived a Science Fiction life. Then at least I might get my cold fusion-powered rocket pack ride to work.
 

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Bigfoot is now official. Sort of. Well...

You might suspect that a one-line bill about Bigfoot that bears the number "666" is a joke, but AB-666 is apparently a serious offering from California Assemblymember Chris Rogers. Rogers represents a California district known for its Bigfoot sightings (or "sightings," depending on your persuasion—many of these have been faked), and he wants to make Bigfoot the "official cryptid" of the state.

His bill notes that California already has many official symbols, including the golden poppy (official flower), the California redwood (official tree), the word "Eureka" (official motto), the red-legged frog (official amphibian), the grizzly bear (official animal), swing dancing (official dance), and the saber-toothed cat (official fossil). The state has so many of these that there are separate categories for freshwater fish (golden trout) and marine fish (garibaldi). So why not, Rogers wants to know, "designate Bigfoot as the official state cryptid"?
 

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Bigfoot is now official. Sort of. Well...

There's potentially at least one for each state, it seems, including a surprising number of Nessiteras rhombopteryx wannabes.

 
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You have The Mystery Spot* AND that museum? C'mon, Santa Cruz, share the wealth!

* A tourist attraction, not an anatomical euphemism.
Don't forget the Boardwalk!
 
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Don't forget the Boardwalk!
You kiddin'?

I remember sliding on the giant wooden slide in the Fun House. You'd climb what had to be at least four flights of stairs clutching a floor-wax soaked flour sack to sit on and slide down at approx. Mach 2. A sullen attendant might yell at you if you tried to go down backwards. That was about it for safety monitoring.

There was also a big wood turntable. A bunch of kids would all link arms in the center and they'd start it spinning. You'd hang on as long as you could as it accelerated. Once the first kid blew out, you were all doomed to go flying into the padding that lined the (short) wall around the wheel.

The whole place was pretty much a liability lawyer's dream come true. In other words, super fun.
 
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You kiddin'?

I remember sliding on the giant wooden slide in the Fun House. You'd climb what had to be at least four flights of stairs clutching a floor-wax soaked flour sack to sit on and slide down at approx. Mach 2. A sullen attendant might yell at you if you tried to go down backwards. That was about it for safety monitoring.

There was also a big wood turntable. A bunch of kids would all link arms in the center and they'd start it spinning. You'd hang on as long as you could as it accelerated. Once the first kid blew put, you were all doomed to go flying into the padding that lined the (short) wall around the wheel.

The whole place was pretty much a liability lawyer's dream come true. In other words, super fun.
Sounds like you had an older version of the carpet slide. We had one over in Pearland when I was young only it was metal. Had like 8 rows of lanes and the older it got, the faster it got thanks to the waves of the track. Nothing says fun like friction burns on a hot metal track in the summer. Sadly as it started to rust, it closed down and all you could see was it slowly collapsing in on itself.

The turntable sounds like it was a Teufelsrad or Devil's Wheel. It is insanely popular in Germany during Oktoberfest.
 
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Sounds like you had an older version of the carpet slide. We had one over in Pearland when I was young only it was metal. Had like 8 rows of lanes and the older it got, the faster it got thanks to the waves of the track. Nothing says fun like friction burns on a hot metal track in the summer. Sadly as it started to rust, it closed down and all you could see was it slowly collapsing in on itself.

The turntable sounds like it was a Teufelsrad or Devil's Wheel. It is insanely popular in Germany during Oktoberfest.
No way in hell would I wear a dress or a skirt on one of those!
 
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Casey Pelous

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No way in hell would I wear a dress or a skirt on one of those!
One word: Oktoberfest.

Rumor has it that neither would Bigfoot.
Ah, yes. Bigfoot. Yes. That is the --- ahhhh -- the subject at hand, of course.

....

Hey, how 'bout that Bigfoot?

How do ya think he'd do on the Teufelsrad or Devil's Wheel?
 

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Hey, how 'bout that Bigfoot?

How do ya think he'd do on the Teufelsrad or Devil's Wheel?
It's said that ever since it had a bad experience on the Log Jammer at Six Flags Magic Mountain, it prefers to stay off amusement park rides.
 

Casey Pelous

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It's said that ever since it had a bad experience on the Log Jammer at Six Flags Magic Mountain, it prefers to stay off amusement park rides.
As Kate McKinnon might say, "Bad experience with a log jammer wouldn't be my worst Wednesday night."