When I stopped in Chicago once while taking the train to visit family in Cleveland, I made a point to order a hot dog, because it's been this heavily publicized thing that "Chicago dogs" are like the most premium kind of hot dogs you can get anywhere.
So I ordered an authentic "Chicago dog", with everything that "traditionally" comes on it, completely reserving judgment even seeing what was on it in the picture, just cuz I don't wanna be accused of knocking something before trying it.
Never again. NEVER again. These people are all haughty like "You'll NEVER see ketchup on a hot dog in Chicago". Well you know why? Because they just put freaking tomatoes on it. Like whole cut wedges of tomato, stuffed in there next to the dog. WHO DOES THAT? And get this - while they're all snooty about ketchup, they sure as heck put relish on it. Right next to just a whole freaking dill pickle wedge. A pickle AND relish. And great chunky wedges of tomato. WTAH, Chicago??? It's a freaking hot dog. And then they go and sprinkle "celery salt" on it. What even the eff is 'celery salt'? Who in their right mind after alchemistrying such a thing into existence was like "I know what this needs to go on, a freaking hot dog. With tomatoes." I mean I thought pouring four cups of tomato sauce into in a pie crust and warming it a little and then calling the result a "pizza" was a sign of insanity, but then they go and do this to a hot dog. The horror. The horror.
