Yay! Hot Dogs

Jolene Benoir

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When I stopped in Chicago once while taking the train to visit family in Cleveland, I made a point to order a hot dog, because it's been this heavily publicized thing that "Chicago dogs" are like the most premium kind of hot dogs you can get anywhere.

So I ordered an authentic "Chicago dog", with everything that "traditionally" comes on it, completely reserving judgment even seeing what was on it in the picture, just cuz I don't wanna be accused of knocking something before trying it.

Never again. NEVER again. These people are all haughty like "You'll NEVER see ketchup on a hot dog in Chicago". Well you know why? Because they just put freaking tomatoes on it. Like whole cut wedges of tomato, stuffed in there next to the dog. WHO DOES THAT? And get this - while they're all snooty about ketchup, they sure as heck put relish on it. Right next to just a whole freaking dill pickle wedge. A pickle AND relish. And great chunky wedges of tomato. WTAH, Chicago??? It's a freaking hot dog. And then they go and sprinkle "celery salt" on it. What even the eff is 'celery salt'? Who in their right mind after alchemistrying such a thing into existence was like "I know what this needs to go on, a freaking hot dog. With tomatoes." I mean I thought pouring four cups of tomato sauce into in a pie crust and warming it a little and then calling the result a "pizza" was a sign of insanity, but then they go and do this to a hot dog. The horror. The horror.
Living fairly close to Chicago and having many transplants, it's not hard to find a Chicago dog here. They are good, but I dislike the LARGE pieces of assorted veggies. They're too darn big for a bun and almost always end up falling out.

Celery salt gives additional flavor to the dogs, in particular if you have browned them nicely. I always use it.
 

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Dirty Franks is doing curbside takeout now. I miss going out for a dog and tater tachoes (nachoes, but with tater tots).



I like the Big Boston on toasted bun, with the dog wrapped in bacon.
 

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How do you eat your hot dogs. Sausages are something else but include those, too, if you like.
I eat mine in white buns with ketchup. Or on white buns and slathered in chili and cheese. My favorite kind of hot dogs are those with cheese in them. I also love a good bratwurst.
 

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I like to take biscuits and wrap the dog and then bake them together
Ooh! Try getting a couple of cans of crescent rolls, wrap the raw crescents around your hot dogs, then bake them in the oven for about ten minutes. They're great when dipped in ketchup as you eat them.
 
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I like mayo and pickles on mine. Coleslaw mustard, too.
 

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Just stretch the bun out a bit and it should fit.

But don't be careless about it or it will break and make sure it's not dry, dry buns don't have much give and break easily.
 
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Just stretch the bun out a bit and it should fit.

But don't be careless about it or it will break and make sure it's not dry, dry buns don't have much give and break easily.
Eh. Personally, I don't mind a dog that's bigger than its bun. Dealing with the reverse is just embarrassing.