Approaching the days of the Machine - Alexa Answers

Sep 23, 2018
190
Alabama
SL Rez
2003
Joined SLU
2007
#1
The Machine Stops said:
'Beware of first- hand ideas!' exclaimed one of the most advanced of them. 'First-hand ideas do not really exist. They are but the physical impressions produced by love and fear, and on this gross foundation who could erect a philosophy? Let your ideas be second-hand, and if possible tenth-hand, for then they will be far removed from that disturbing element – direct observation. Do not learn anything about this subject of mine – the French Revolution. Learn instead what I think that Enicharmon thought Urizen thought Gutch thought Ho-Yung thought Chi-Bo-Sing thought Lafcadio Hearn thought Carlyle thought Mirabeau said about the French Revolution.
Through the medium of these eight great minds, the blood that was shed at Paris and the windows that were broken at Versailles will be clarified to an idea which you may employ most profitably in your daily lives. But be sure that the intermediates are many and varied, for in history one authority exists to counteract another. Urizen must counteract the scepticism of Ho-Yung and Enicharmon, I must myself counteract the impetuosity of Gutch. You who listen to me are in a better position to judge about the French Revolution than I am. Your descendants will be even in a better position than you, for they will learn what you think I think, and yet another intermediate will be added to the chain. And in time' – his voice rose – 'there will come a generation that had got beyond facts, beyond impressions, a generation absolutely colourless, a generation seraphically free from taint of personality, which will see the French Revolution not as it happened, nor as they would like it to have happened, but as it would have happened, had it taken place in the days of the Machine.'
We've reached the point of not as it happened, but as we would like it to have happened, though we're not quite willing to worship the Machine.

Presenting Alexa Answers
 

Soen Eber

Vatican mole
VVO Supporter 🍦🎈👾❤
Sep 20, 2018
119
#2
You already know what's going to happen, Alexa is going to end up crowd sourcing 4chan.
 

Casey Pelous

Senior Discount
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Sep 24, 2018
43
USA, upper left corner
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2007
Joined SLU
February, 2011
SLU Posts
10461
#5
Meanwhile, making complex tables in Word still requires the patience of frickin' Buddha and the mouse chops of a master gamer. :mad:

(Current project contains approximately 16 squadrillion* complicated tables. I'm about ready to drive down to Redmond and pitch a fit in the lobby.)


* Yes it does! :shakefist:


ETA: Maybe I should just drive into Seattle, kidnap some Alexa programmers, and drop 'em off at the Redmond Death Star.
 
Sep 21, 2018
234
SLU Posts
9073
#6
Meanwhile, making complex tables in Word still requires the patience of frickin' Buddha and the mouse chops of a master gamer.
Could you make the tables in Excel, then paste them into your document? Depending if they need to be live or static, you can just print then crop the image.
 

Casey Pelous

Senior Discount
VVO Supporter 🍦🎈👾❤
Sep 24, 2018
43
USA, upper left corner
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2007
Joined SLU
February, 2011
SLU Posts
10461
#7
Could you make the tables in Excel, then paste them into your document? Depending if they need to be live or static, you can just print then crop the image.
Meh. Probably. But it has to be typomagraphically purty and stuff, too, and I know how to do that in Word. Not so sure about my Excel skills when it comes to the graphic side of things. (This is a commercial product.)

I'm talking about the total lack of convenience functions that seem obvious to me -- such as, "Select all empty cells" which, alone, would have saved me at least an hour today.

Good idea, though. Thanks! I think I'll stick with the kidnap plan.:shiftyeyes:
 

Noodles

Queen of Ramen
Sep 20, 2018
152
Illinois
SL Rez
2006
Joined SLU
04-28-2010
SLU Posts
6947
#8
Meanwhile, making complex tables in Word still requires the patience of frickin' Buddha and the mouse chops of a master gamer. :mad:

(Current project contains approximately 16 squadrillion* complicated tables. I'm about ready to drive down to Redmond and pitch a fit in the lobby.)


* Yes it does! :shakefist:


ETA: Maybe I should just drive into Seattle, kidnap some Alexa programmers, and drop 'em off at the Redmond Death Star.
Make them in Excell, print screen, insert as a graphic into Word.
 

Free

The Pie Whisperer
VVO Supporter 🍦🎈👾❤
Sep 22, 2018
1,539
Neuken, America
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2008
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May 2009
SLU Posts
55565
#9
  • Free

    Free

Khamon

Irish Harper
Sep 23, 2018
190
Alabama
SL Rez
2003
Joined SLU
2007
#10
This thread is slightly better focused than a Cylon plan.
 

Casey Pelous

Senior Discount
VVO Supporter 🍦🎈👾❤
Sep 24, 2018
43
USA, upper left corner
SL Rez
2007
Joined SLU
February, 2011
SLU Posts
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#11
Y'all may be assuming I possess certain skills.

Let me make it clear: I r a riter not a countant. I work in Word all day. I open Excel once a year to total up tax stuff. I'm hella good at =SUM(........ After that, Excel is a big scary house where old Mr. Johnson used to live AND I'M NOT GOING IN THERE.

Also, you people are no help at all when it comes to abduction plots. :mad: