Approaching the days of the Machine - Alexa Answers

Khamon

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The Machine Stops said:
'Beware of first- hand ideas!' exclaimed one of the most advanced of them. 'First-hand ideas do not really exist. They are but the physical impressions produced by love and fear, and on this gross foundation who could erect a philosophy? Let your ideas be second-hand, and if possible tenth-hand, for then they will be far removed from that disturbing element – direct observation. Do not learn anything about this subject of mine – the French Revolution. Learn instead what I think that Enicharmon thought Urizen thought Gutch thought Ho-Yung thought Chi-Bo-Sing thought Lafcadio Hearn thought Carlyle thought Mirabeau said about the French Revolution.
Through the medium of these eight great minds, the blood that was shed at Paris and the windows that were broken at Versailles will be clarified to an idea which you may employ most profitably in your daily lives. But be sure that the intermediates are many and varied, for in history one authority exists to counteract another. Urizen must counteract the scepticism of Ho-Yung and Enicharmon, I must myself counteract the impetuosity of Gutch. You who listen to me are in a better position to judge about the French Revolution than I am. Your descendants will be even in a better position than you, for they will learn what you think I think, and yet another intermediate will be added to the chain. And in time' – his voice rose – 'there will come a generation that had got beyond facts, beyond impressions, a generation absolutely colourless, a generation seraphically free from taint of personality, which will see the French Revolution not as it happened, nor as they would like it to have happened, but as it would have happened, had it taken place in the days of the Machine.'
We've reached the point of not as it happened, but as we would like it to have happened, though we're not quite willing to worship the Machine.

Presenting Alexa Answers
 

Soen Eber

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You already know what's going to happen, Alexa is going to end up crowd sourcing 4chan.
 

Casey Pelous

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Meanwhile, making complex tables in Word still requires the patience of frickin' Buddha and the mouse chops of a master gamer. :mad:

(Current project contains approximately 16 squadrillion* complicated tables. I'm about ready to drive down to Redmond and pitch a fit in the lobby.)


* Yes it does! :shakefist:


ETA: Maybe I should just drive into Seattle, kidnap some Alexa programmers, and drop 'em off at the Redmond Death Star.
 

danielravennest

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Meanwhile, making complex tables in Word still requires the patience of frickin' Buddha and the mouse chops of a master gamer.
Could you make the tables in Excel, then paste them into your document? Depending if they need to be live or static, you can just print then crop the image.
 
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Casey Pelous

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Could you make the tables in Excel, then paste them into your document? Depending if they need to be live or static, you can just print then crop the image.
Meh. Probably. But it has to be typomagraphically purty and stuff, too, and I know how to do that in Word. Not so sure about my Excel skills when it comes to the graphic side of things. (This is a commercial product.)

I'm talking about the total lack of convenience functions that seem obvious to me -- such as, "Select all empty cells" which, alone, would have saved me at least an hour today.

Good idea, though. Thanks! I think I'll stick with the kidnap plan.:shiftyeyes:
 
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Noodles

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Meanwhile, making complex tables in Word still requires the patience of frickin' Buddha and the mouse chops of a master gamer. :mad:

(Current project contains approximately 16 squadrillion* complicated tables. I'm about ready to drive down to Redmond and pitch a fit in the lobby.)


* Yes it does! :shakefist:


ETA: Maybe I should just drive into Seattle, kidnap some Alexa programmers, and drop 'em off at the Redmond Death Star.
Make them in Excell, print screen, insert as a graphic into Word.
 

Khamon

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This thread is slightly better focused than a Cylon plan.
 

Casey Pelous

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Y'all may be assuming I possess certain skills.

Let me make it clear: I r a riter not a countant. I work in Word all day. I open Excel once a year to total up tax stuff. I'm hella good at =SUM(........ After that, Excel is a big scary house where old Mr. Johnson used to live AND I'M NOT GOING IN THERE.

Also, you people are no help at all when it comes to abduction plots. :mad: