Sid

Sid · Nov 27, 2018

Dear Santa,
Just leave your credit card under the three.
Thanks, Sid.

Sid · Nov 26, 2018

Why do bees hum?
Because they can never remember the words.

Sid · Nov 24, 2018

250 lbs here on Earth is 94.5 lbs on Mercury. No, I’m not fat. I’m just not on the right planet.

Sid · Nov 23, 2018

45 is like a slinky:
Not really good for much,
but brings a smile to your face,
when pushed down the stairs.

Sid · Nov 19, 2018

Just because my path is different,
doesn't mean I'm lost.

Sid · Nov 15, 2018

Respect your parents.
They passed school without Google!

Sid · Nov 12, 2018

Thank God, I don't have to hunt for food.
I don't even know where tacos live!

Sid · Nov 11, 2018

Old? Me?
No, I'm vintage.

Sid · Nov 10, 2018

Everybody wants to change the world, but nobody wants to change the toilet paper roll.

Sid · Nov 8, 2018

Don't be sad when a bird craps on your head. Be happy that elephants can't fly.

Sid · Nov 7, 2018

Tried watching The Never Ending Story, couldn't finish it.

Sid · Nov 5, 2018

I'm not fat.
I'm just ........
easier to see!

Sid · Nov 4, 2018

I want to be like a caterpillar.
Eat a lot. Sleep a while.
Wake up beautiful.

Sid · Nov 3, 2018

Most people are shocked when they find out how bad I am as an electrician.

Sid · Nov 2, 2018

Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.

Sid · Oct 31, 2018

The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Sid · Oct 30, 2018

Being normal is vastly overrated.

Sid · Oct 28, 2018

I just saved some whine.
It was stuck in a bottle.

Sid · Oct 26, 2018

God must love stupid people.
He made so many.

Sid · Oct 23, 2018

A recent study has found, that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.

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