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  • God must love stupid people.
    He made so many.
    A recent study has found, that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.
    My biggest fear about becoming a zombie, is all the walking that I'd have to do.
    I remember when Halloween was the scariest night of the year.
    Now, it's Election night.
    Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
    One day you're the best thing since sliced bread.
    The next, you're toast.
    Photons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.
    Everything is changing. People are taking the comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke. - Will Rogers
    Maybe if we start telling Republicans the brain is an app, they will start using it.
    So what if I don't know what "Armageddon" means? It's not the end of the world.
    I asked my North Korean friend how it was there.
    He said he couldn't complain.
    I want to be something really scary for Halloween this year, so I'm dressing up as a phone battery at 2%.
    Evil String
    Evil String
    Or "I want to talk" T-Shirt
    Don't you hate it when someone answers their own questions?
    I do.
    Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me, it means a lot.
    STRESSED is just DESSERTS spelled backward.
    Moses had the first tablet that could connect to the cloud.
    Evil String
    Evil String
    We need an "amen" button
    eBay is so useless. I tried to look up lighters and all they had was 13,749 matches.
    I told my niece that I saw a moose on the way to work this morning. She said, "How do you know he was on his way to work?"
    Veritable Quandry
    Veritable Quandry
    The enormous lunch box.
    Rose Karuna
    Rose Karuna
    True story; I hit a moose on the way to work one morning in Logan Lake BC. It was just a little bump but the moose got pissed and then started ramming the truck which did FAR more damage.
    When I was a boy, I had a disease that required me to eat dirt three times a day in order to survive... It's a good thing my older sister told me about it.
    You take away the looks, money, intelligence, charm and success and, really, there's no real difference between me and George Clooney.
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