We were born to be real, not to be perfect.
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Someone called me lazy today.
I almost responded.
I currently experience life at the speed of 15 WTF's an hour.
All my life I thought that air was free, until I bought a bag of chips.
Celery is 95% water and 100% not pizza.
If idiots could fly, the world would be one big airport.
I finished 3 books today. And believe it or not, that's a lot of coloring.
I don't have a dirty mind, I have a sexy imagination.
I started out with nothing....
I still got most of it.
Two people stole a calendar.
They each got six months.
I just saw an idiot at the gym putting a water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill.
If we are not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge?
When you're happy, you enjoy the music.
When you're sad, you understand the lyrics.
Change is inevitable.
Except from a vending machine.
Light travels faster than sound.
That's why some people appear bright until they speak.
Creativity is intelligence having fun.
Don't steal!
Our governments hate competition.
I won't be impressed by technology until I can download food.
If you fall, I'll be there. - Floor
I never make the same mistake twice. I make it five, six times, just to be sure. -
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