Sid

Sid · May 4, 2019

If Jesus was a Jew, how come he has a Mexican first name?

Sid · May 3, 2019

I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.

Sid · May 2, 2019

It's a bad day.
Not a bad life.

Sid · May 1, 2019

Why am I thinking about a drama llama right now?

Sid · Apr 27, 2019

I'm not totally useless.
I could be used as a bad example.

Sid · Apr 22, 2019

You are never to old, to learn something stupid.

Sid · Apr 13, 2019

To be old and wise, you first must have been young and stupid.
It seems I'm not old enough yet.

Sid · Apr 10, 2019

We were born to be real, not to be perfect.

Sid · Apr 7, 2019

Someone called me lazy today.
I almost responded.

Sid · Apr 6, 2019

I currently experience life at the speed of 15 WTF's an hour.

Sid · Mar 21, 2019

All my life I thought that air was free, until I bought a bag of chips.

Sid · Mar 15, 2019

Celery is 95% water and 100% not pizza.

Sid · Mar 11, 2019

If idiots could fly, the world would be one big airport.

Sid · Mar 8, 2019

I finished 3 books today. And believe it or not, that's a lot of coloring.

Sid · Mar 3, 2019

I don't have a dirty mind, I have a sexy imagination.

Sid · Feb 26, 2019

I started out with nothing....
I still got most of it.

Sid · Feb 22, 2019

Two people stole a calendar.
They each got six months.

Sid · Feb 20, 2019

I just saw an idiot at the gym putting a water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill.

Sid · Feb 18, 2019

If we are not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge?

Sid · Feb 12, 2019

When you're happy, you enjoy the music.
When you're sad, you understand the lyrics.

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